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Coulda been a contender

Theaters may come, theaters may go, but to thank our father which art in heaven — or in Hollywood, whichever’s closer — the 58th Street Paris movie house cranks on forever. It got itself a new series. “Classics + Contenders.”

That’s newer filmmakers picking their favorite older flicks with Paris now running them. Director Jane Campion likes Richard Gere’s “Days of Heaven.” LinManuel Miranda sings praises for “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” Rebecca Hall’s a fan of Hitchcock’s “Strangers on a Train.” Maggie Gyllenhaal, going Fellini, picks streetwalker classic “Nights of Cabiria.” Adam McKay’s mad about Sidney Lumet’s “Network.” Somebody else pants for “All That Jazz.” And whoever’s Paolo Sorrentino, he’s into Fellini’s 1953 thing “I Vitelloni,” which who cares about except he says it inspired Scorsese’s “Mean Streets.”

Who picks these picks who pick their favorite pics, this I don’t know. Go. Enjoy. Movies in movie theaters. It’s a new concept. 

Shine bright, shine far

Joaquin Phoenix arrives at a special screening of "C'mon C'mon" at Fine Arts Theater in Los Angeles.
Joaquin Phoenix arrives at a special screening of “C’mon C’mon” at Fine Arts Theater in Los Angeles.
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Where stars in the universe came from, this I also don’t know. Where stars in the cinema came from, this I know. Like Leighton Meester? She got born in a hospital after her mother’s furlough from jail. Alec Baldwin? Waiter at Studio 54. Margot Robbie? Sandwich maker at a Subway. Eva Longoria? Six years at Wendy’s. Harry Styles? Baker. Nicki Minaj? Red Lobster waitress.

Big names may now have assistants, makeup people, agents, retouchers, p.r. people, hairdressers, stylists, lawyers, ex-spouses, accountants — but not all came from 18-karat backgrounds. Woody Harrelson’s dad was a hit man. Christopher Walken a lion tamer in a traveling circus. Obama hustled ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. Joaquin Phoenix got born into a cult. Rose McGowan spent nine years in the same cult.

Supply issues

Western Florida felt the aftermath of the volcano and tsunami that swallowed up an island. Their eroding beach, in process of being refurbished — re-sanded and resurfaced — had huge trucks nearly swallowed. Residents, to and from doctors’ visits, were asking their pharmacists if the Gulf of Mexico is connected to the Pacific.—-

Bragg’s a drag

Alvin Bragg, incoming Manhattan District Attorney, speaks with supporters on election night in New York.
Alvin Bragg, incoming Manhattan District Attorney, speaks with supporters on election night in New York.
AP / Craig Ruttle

Our new mayor of 20 minutes. His governance ability is not proven by riding a bike. How about Adams’ support for Manhattan DA Bragg? When a victim gets knifed, this new guy’s new judgment is that the stabber is innocent. The victim had no right running into the killer’s pointed blade. Great way to dispense judgment. Perfect to help clean up our crime-infested city. Cops, lawyers, judges, citizens are thrilled with biker Adams’ choice.

Hats off to rock

Back when we had gowns and glamour, we also had dressmakers. So here’s how we can repair ourselves now.There exists Ivy Supersonic — whose hats dressed Hillary’s head, Pamela Anderson’s, Lil’ Kim’s, Snoop Dogg’s. Her shows include feathered hats and body paint. They exclude excess clothing.So Mötley Crüe’s Tommy Lee with then-fiancée Mayte Garcia (once wed to Prince) were hosting Vegas’ “Pimp N Ho,” an event that works islands and offbeat venues. His song “Get Naked,” about his stolen porn tape, had nude models on the catwalk sporting Ivy’s hats. Came a solo show at BB King’s. Tragedy struck. Ivy’s red feathers got loose. So she chewed a stick of gum, stuck a wad in the hat and used Doublemint saved the night.

THIS pandemic upset the sexes. Half our women were working women. A quarter are now working men. Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

Source: NYPOST

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