“Don’t mess it up,” I reminded myself as I picked up my inaugural delivery order, carefully tucking it into my comically large bag.
It was my first day as an Uber Eats cyclist, a role I took on well before my words found their way into this newspaper.
My initial task—pedaling a McDonald’s order three miles across the west London streets—didn’t exactly scream “mission impossible.”
Yet, as any delivery app user knows, drivers often encounter a series of mishaps, from collecting the wrong order to navigating the wrong route.
“How hard could it really be?” I mused while embarking on the journey from Hammersmith to Putney, eager to earn my nearly £4 payment.
Apparently, it was more difficult than I anticipated, as I soon found myself dashing out of a Putney council estate with my delivery unfinished.
Much to my surprise, I still received a full fee for the aborted delivery.
It was the only positive of the job – which, for the most part, was shockingly poorly paid.
I worked as a cyclist for UberEats, long before my words appeared on the pages of this newspaper
I only managed a handful of deliveries as an Uber Eats driver before switching careers
With competition from tens of thousands of colleagues in the capital, as well as those working for Deliveroo or Just Eat, it often proved almost impossible to pick up enough orders to even reach minimum wage, aside from on a rainy Friday or Saturday night in central London.
On my first delivery, to the Putney housing estate, I was buzzed in by a hungry customer.
The lift was broken so they had to wait until I ascended 10 flights of stairs before they could tuck into their Big Mac, Quarter Pounders and chips.
Their delivery was further delayed when right before I was about to knock on their door I reached into my rucksack and found a rapidly disintegrating paper bag drenched in Diet Coke – along with the chips and burgers inside.
Having realised I placed the drink the wrong way up, I dashed down the stairs, rushed out of the estate and chucked the food in the nearest bin before cancelling the order, before somehow still ‘earning’ my £4 fee.
My less error-prone colleagues, who are typically signed up to multiple apps at once, would form cliques as they waited outside the front of fast food chains.
And there was often animosity between drivers collecting food and servers, with each side accusing the other of being too slow or pushy.
At McDonald’s, a server appeared shocked when he saw my insulated and suitably sized bag.
I was one of the few people he’d seen that day who had a heatproof delivery bag despite it being compulsory.
Cycling with the bag did come with its difficulties and I narrowly avoided clipping wing mirrors on a number of occasions as I swivelled through cars, buses and lorries.
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As for stealing food, while I can confirm I never did, other drivers were certainly more peckish.
One driver who still works for the platform, admitted: ‘I try to be professional. But when you’re stuck in traffic with someone’s chips next to you and you’ve not eaten in hours, it’s tough.
‘I don’t make a habit of it, but yeah, I’ve taken fries. Everyone does, whether they admit it or not,’ he told Plates Express.
‘You’re five hours in, tired, hungry, and the food’s just there — it happens. One night I was out late, and hadn’t eaten all day. The bag was open, and I took a nugget. Not proud of it but also not the first.’
Uber Eats has come under fire after the Daily Mail revealed that female drivers were renting out their accounts for thousands of pounds to illegal immigrant men who want to get around criminal record and employment checks.
Users of the app have complained of drivers not matching their profile picture, with some promised a female driver only for a man to turn up instead.
One takeaway lover was left baffled to find a fully grown man with a beard at his doorstep after being told by the UberEats app that a female driver was on the way.
Matt Stevens ordered a takeaway to his home in Greenwich, London and saw a female driver on the app.
Uber has implemented stricter checks to make sure drivers don’t pass on their accounts. When I log into the app I am forced to take a selfie to authenticate myself before being allowed to complete orders
But he was shocked to find a man with a beard at his door with his dinner in tow.
‘I walk outside, and there’s a fully grown man out there,’ Matt told the Daily Mail. ‘So I thought, this can’t be my delivery.’
Uber appears to have implemented stricter checks and when I log into the app I am now forced to take a selfie to authenticate before being allowed to complete orders.
An Uber Eats spokesperson said: ‘Uber Eats is committed to building the best platform for all customers and we take appropriate action in the rare event a courier breaches our community guidelines.
‘We offer a flexible way for thousands of couriers to earn while being able to choose when, where, and for how long they work.
‘While the vast majority are satisfied with their experience on the app, we work closely with our union partner, GMB, to ensure couriers’ interests are always represented.’
