Perrie Edwards has shared about her experience leaving a ‘toxic’ relationship with former fiancé Zayn Malik, which left her feeling as though she ‘didn’t want to meet anyone’ else afterward.

The Little Mix singer, at 32, who is now engaged to footballer Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, opened up about her ‘first love’ during a frank discussion on Paul C Brunson’s We Need To Talk podcast.

Looking back on her past, Perrie, without naming her former partner, confessed that her ‘first relationship’ led her to dread the ‘pain’ of meeting someone new, believing those previous behaviors were ‘normal.’

The singer previously got engaged to One Direction star Zayn Malik in 2013, but they split two years later.

She said: ‘I think definitely at the time I thought everything we experienced in our relationship was normal. 

‘Since it was my first relationship, my first love, I thought, “Oh, this must be what it’s meant to feel like. A bit of toxicity is probably normal, right?”‘

‘But once I was single, the thought of going through that once more was overwhelming. I genuinely didn’t want to meet anyone new. I felt like that was it for me. I couldn’t imagine enduring that kind of pain again.’

‘But now, reflecting back, I’m thinking, oh, that probably wasn’t good. And I’ve noticed it a lot. 

‘Starting with Alex, I’d sometimes approach things differently, and his calm and rational response often caught me by surprise.’

Perrie went onto gush about Alex’s ‘laid-back nature,’ after the couple’s engagement in 2022.

She said: ‘Like, little things might happen, and I’d think, ”Oh, now he’s going to kick off, he’s not going to like this.” And I’d be like, ”Oh, this happened.” And he’d be like, ”Alright,” and it would throw me. 

‘He’s very mature. He’s very laid back. He’s very levelheaded. He’s not the type to get mad or get angry or get funny about things.’

Zayn previously reflected on his split from Perrie in an interview back in May, telling Nylon: ‘From 17 to 21, I was in a relationship. I was engaged and [planned to get] married and I didn’t know anything about anything at that point. I thought I did, because I was 21. I was legally allowed to do everything, but I didn’t know s**t.’

Perrie recently recalled the moment she told Alex that she loved him for the first time early in their romance.

Appearing on the Capital Evening show with Jimmy Hill, she revealed how she stumbled over the romantic admission.

She said: ‘In my real life I can never say exactly what I mean… but I feel like in my music it’s different. I remember the first time I told Alex I loved him, I was on a night out with the [Little Mix] girls and they were gearing me up – and for some reason I had a pan, right?

‘I had a frying pan because Alex told me he liked pancakes so I went out of my way to buy a pan, but we had promo.

‘So I’m on a night out, with a frickin’ frying pan thinking, ‘I’m gonna make his dreams come true, I’m gonna make him pancakes in the morning.’

The singer went on: ‘I remember saying to the girls, ‘I think I love him… but I think he loves me too’ and the girls were like, ‘Then just tell him’. They geared me up within an inch of life and I was raring to go.’

But when it came to the big moment, the singer admitted that she was ‘speechless’.

She continued: ‘I couldn’t find the words, I couldn’t articulate myself, I was like panicking… my heartbeat was in my head. And I just went, ‘I think I’m falling in love with you’, so aggressively.’

After managing to get her words out, she revealed that Alex said he was in love with her too.

Listen to the full interview on Paul Brunson’s We Need To Talk, available wherever you get your podcasts.