As someone who has navigated the complexities of modern dating for the past ten years, I believed I had encountered every possible tactic for infidelity.
Being single often seems to invite the attention of men who are already in relationships, seeking some extracurricular excitement.
However, just last night, I discovered how inventive cheaters have become when a married male friend approached me on Instagram using an unexpected method.
This now-former friend composed an explicit message in the Notes app on his iPhone, took a screenshot, and sent it to me as a disappearing photo message on Instagram, ensuring the message vanished immediately after I viewed it.
This incident reminded me of a friend’s clever trick to expose her partner’s subscription to OnlyFans. She attempted to create an account using his email, only to receive a notification that an account already existed with that email address.
Although technology has made it easier than ever to conceal infidelity, it can also provide the tools to uncover it if you know where to look. I’ve been delving into the digital strategies that cheaters employ to remain undiscovered. Spouses, stay alert…
While technology makes infidelity easier than ever to hide, if you know where to look, it can be surprisingly easy to catch someone out
As a single woman who has spent the past decade wading through the swamp of modern dating, I thought I’d seen every cheating trick in the book, writes Jana Hocking
Notes app
With Apple’s shared Notes feature, which lets two people collaborate in real time, messages can be typed, deleted and rewritten almost instantly, leaving very little evidence behind
Yes, that boring old app where you’ve been keeping your shopping lists, WiFi passwords and holiday packing reminders. It’s now where some people are conducting entire affairs.
The trick works through Apple’s shared Notes feature, which lets two people collaborate on the same note in real time. Messages can be typed, deleted and rewritten almost instantly, leaving very little evidence behind.
And because it’s tucked away inside such a boring, everyday app, most partners would never even think to check it.
If the number of ‘shopping lists’ he’s writing when you look over his shoulder seems excessive, you should be suspicious.
Signal
Signal notifications can be hidden, the app can be locked with Face ID and users can communicate via usernames rather than visible phone numbers
The encrypted messaging app Signal is widely used by journalists and politicians thanks to its intense security features. Which is why it’s now become so appealing for discreet conversations.
He can explain it away by saying he needs it for work – and there’ll be no evidence to contradict him.
Messages can disappear automatically after a set amount of time. Notifications can be hidden. The app can be locked with Face ID. And users can communicate via usernames rather than visible phone numbers.
Telegram
Telegram includes a feature called ‘Secret Chat’, where messages self-destruct after being read. And thanks to its use of cloud storage, you can access it on multiple devices
Telegram’s popularity among ‘tech bros’ comes thanks to its advanced security features and its use of cloud storage, meaning you can access your messages on multiple devices.
Thing is, this makes the encrypted messaging app popular among cheaters too.
The app includes a feature literally called ‘Secret Chat’, where conversations can self-destruct after being read.
Calculator
Apps such as Calculator+ and Calculator Pro+ look completely normal, but type in the correct PIN and a secret storage folder opens. It’s mostly where cheaters keep saucy videos
It’s like something out of a Bond film. There are apps that look like calculators, but secretly function as hidden vaults for photos, videos, messages and private files.
It’s mostly where cheaters keep the saucy videos they send each other. Apps such as Calculator+ and Calculator Pro+ look completely normal, but type in the correct PIN and a secret storage folder opens.
Most phones have built-in calculator apps, so look out if he has multiple installed on his device. And remember, nobody seriously needs to be doing sums 15 times a day.
If you see him tapping through different folders on WhatsApp, or typing a passcode to access a certain chat, ask yourself why
Most of us use WhatsApp for group chats and messaging – which makes its more discreet features easy to overlook.
There are disappearing messages, where chats automatically erase themselves after a set amount of time. Entire conversations can quietly vanish without anybody needing to manually delete them. Then there’s the archive feature, which allows users to hide specific chats in a hidden folder, separate from their main inbox.
And perhaps the sneakiest feature of all is the hidden message preview. Notifications can be adjusted so a message arrives without revealing its contents on the lock screen. Meaning a suspicious late-night text simply appears as: ‘1 new message’.
Look out if some messages flash up their contents while others remain hidden. And if you see him tapping through different folders, or typing a passcode to access a certain chat, ask yourself why.
