I have a family of raccoons in my backyard, and although I rarely encounter them up close and personal, our Ring camera occasionally spots them.
Now I have to wonder if they’re blasted and have been snorting tequila shots all night.
Turns out, drunken raccoons are a thing. Many of us have had the experience (perhaps at an “institute of higher learning”) of trying to get their wasted buddy into his bed and away from further trouble:
America has entered “drunk raccoon season” — the animals are finding fallen apples and berries that have already fermented, gorging themselves on the fruit and getting drunk.
In this state, they become disoriented, fall out of trees and cause chaos. Experts advise people to… pic.twitter.com/bFDwDzLXvA
— NEXTA (@nexta_tv) November 9, 2026
In this state, they become disoriented, fall out of trees and cause chaos. Experts advise people to leave the animals alone, as they may become aggressive.
Frankly, they sound like a lot of college kids in my day.
But one masked bandit has actually done some good with his antics. After trashing a liquor store in 2025 in Hanover County, Virginia, and enjoying the contents of some 14 bottles of booze before hitting rock bottom and passing out in the bathroom next to the toilet, the newly minted Drunken Raccoon has helped raise almost $300,000 for a local animal shelter.
Talk about gulping for glory:
The drunk raccoon who passed out in a Virginia liquor store last year has helped raise more than $250,000 for a local animal shelter through merchandise inspired by his viral fame. pic.twitter.com/tbTRbNkjdV
— CBS Evening News with Tony Dokoupil (@CBSEveningNews) November 13, 2026
But how exactly has this masked marauder helped his brethren in the animal world? It’s all about the merch:
The Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter has since raised more than $290,000 from selling merchandise emblazoned with the masked bandit’s likeness and the slogan “trashed panda,” The Washington Post reported.
After boozy raccoon apparel sales skyrocketed, the county also began selling seasonal shirts, including a Halloween-themed “Trick of Trashed” shirt, the outlet said.
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The money raised from the merchandise exceeds the shelter’s typical yearly donations of less than $20,000 by more than 14 times.
You too can purchase your very own “Trashed Panda” hoodie:
Merchandise commemorating drunk Virginia Raccoon raises over $250,000 for animal shelter.
The Hanover County Animal Protection Shelter raised the charitable amount after caring for the inebriated raccoon in question and teaming up with custom apparel maker Bonfire to create and… pic.twitter.com/w8ufq0MFmt
— PROTECT ALL WILDLIFE (@Protect_Wldlife) December 17, 2025
You may have noticed the story broke in 2025, so you might be asking: why is it in the news again? The answer: It’s about the first anniversary of the wild night, and it’s now been revealed that all the money raised is going toward body cameras for animal protection officers, shelter improvements, food storage, toys, housing, and more for at-risk animals.
I can drink to that.
Meanwhile, there’s a new design that recently debuted: “One bad night. One last call”:
The poor little guy must have woken up with one brutal hangover. Still, here’s hoping he somehow realizes that, despite his misbehavior, he ended up doing a lot of good.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think “Rocky” would be the perfect name for him:
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