Disgraced Premier League referee David Coote revealed he experienced suicidal thoughts and panic attacks in public after damaging videos of him were published online last year, leading to his dismissal as an elite-level official.

Coote was sacked by the PGMOL, the referees’ body, after appearing in several leaked clips, including one in which he insulted former Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp. In another, he could be seen snorting a white powder. 

Speaking in his first interview after the scandal, the 42-year-old publicly came out as gay and disclosed that struggles with his sexuality during his career, which he kept hidden out of fear of abuse, led him to make ‘really poor choices’.

‘In that first week, I had suicidal thoughts and I didn’t get close to acting on those but at that time, that was really tough,’ Coote told Sky Sports News.

‘A lot of people spoke to me and reached out to me on a frequent basis, daily basis because they were concerned about my welfare which I was grateful to them for.

David Coote revealed he had suicidal thoughts after damaging videos of him were made public

Disgraced referee Coote came out as gay and apologised for his actions after his dismissal

In one clip, Coote was caught calling former Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp a ‘German c***’

‘A lot of things that I really regret either doing or saying and they all came to light in the space of a week or so, when in fact, a lot of them were over the course of four or five years ago. 

‘In my head, I’d put them to bed and I’d put them to one side and forgotten they even existed. To then find myself facing what they were just reignited some really difficult times and some really tough thoughts.’

Coote, who officiated more than 100 top-flight games, was suspended by the PGMOL on November 11 after a video of him labelling Klopp a ‘c***’ was published online. 

Just a few days later, The Sun released a clip of him allegedly snorting a white substance while officating at Euro 2024, prompting a new investigation from UEFA.

He said he has been in an ‘incredibly dark place’ since the footage became public, and confirmed the powder he had been snorting was cocaine.

‘It was really difficult, I didn’t want to leave the house because I felt everybody would be judging me,’ added Coote.

‘I felt that every which way I looked people were looking at me and thinking what’s he done, why has he done that, he’s let himself down, he’s let other people down, he’s let his colleagues, his friends, his family down.

‘I went shopping and for the first time everywhere I was looking in the supermarket I felt that everybody was watching me or was looking at me and judging me and I had a panic attack in one of the aisles and had to take some deep breaths. 

Coote also suffered from panic attacks after finding himself at the heart of a tabloid story

He officiated more than 100 top-flight games and a return to football has not been ruled out

‘I got to the checkout and the woman on the checkout then said something really nice to me, I hope you’re okay, you appear to have been through a tough time and I just welled up, I broke down in tears.

‘I thought that I have to keep getting out there now because if I just stay in my house then this is only going to get worse.’

Coote also voiced his regret over the derogatory remark aimed at Klopp, saying: ‘I’m more than happy to address it and what I did say and I maintain is I said things that I didn’t mean and that’s the adjective of using the country where Jurgen originates. 

‘It was not something that I meant and not something that I feel. My grandmother on my mum’s side is German and I really regret using, I regret everything that I said but I particularly regret using those words.’

Coote is said to be keen to take up a future role related to officiating and Paul Field, the chairman of the Referees’ Association, believes he ‘deserves’ to continue working in some capacity in England owing to his ‘exemplary’ work with young referees.

‘He deserves to have a role,’ said Field. ‘The work he does with young people is exemplary. He’s an unbelievable tutor. 

‘He puts so much time and effort into the up-and-coming grassroots officials. He has a magnificent role to offer in terms of coaching, mentoring and support.

‘I’d love for him to stay in the UK. I’d love him to be part of the English Football Association, training, mentoring, out of the public light to look after himself. 

‘He has so much to offer. I don’t think he knows how much respect he has from other referees for the work he has done.’

In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie.