Olivia Munn is sharing her emotional and complex journey to welcoming her second child and how becoming a mother again after undergoing cancer treatment has provided her with a new perspective on parenthood.

In a recent feature story for People magazine, Munn, 44, discusses that her daughter Méi was born through surrogacy following a breast cancer diagnosis, which necessitated a double mastectomy, hysterectomy with oophorectomy, and the onset of surgical menopause. The actress and her husband, comedian John Mulaney, also share a 3-year-old son, Malcolm, whom Munn carried herself.

“This was the first time I realized, ‘Oh wait, is this what it feels like to be an expectant dad?’” she remarked regarding the surrogacy experience. “Despite frequent communication with our surrogate, who would send me videos, it still felt like, ‘Oh wait, she’s coming.’”

Because Munn’s cancer fed on hormones, doctors had only a short window to safely retrieve eggs before beginning aggressive treatment. Using a special IVF protocol for cancer patients, they were able to create two healthy female embryos. “That was a sign for me everything was going to be okay,” she said.

Choosing the right surrogate was just as crucial. “The number one thing that I wanted was someone who was kind,” Munn said. “This is not a choice I would’ve made for myself — I needed her to understand that.”

While building a connection with their surrogate, Munn admits she wrestled with fear over whether her daughter would recognize her as mom. “I had a concern of, ‘Will my daughter know me?’” she shared. But the moment Méi arrived, her doubts disappeared.

“She would cry, and I was the only one who could get her to stop,” Munn said. “I knew she knew me, and I knew her. She’s got this stick-straight hair that I had when I was a baby. I think because I wasn’t able to carry her, I really needed to see myself in her — and I do.”

Now two years out from her diagnosis, Munn says she’s filled with gratitude and pride.

“I’m just so happy and grateful,” she said. “I didn’t know how much strength I had inside me.”