King explained that her son struggled with his mental health, and that she “respects” his choice.

“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way and they expect it to look heavy,” King said. “And people expect that … to have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand, you know, that he didn’t wanna be here anymore.”

“That’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey,” she said.

But acceptance hasn’t always been an easy road.

“Sometimes it’s a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child you still wonder, what could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?” she said.

Initially after her son’s death, King said, “I was so angry with God, why would that weight be given to Ian?” 

“Of all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, psychiatrists, programs. Ian was just like ‘I’m tired of talking Mom,’” she continued.

King said her favorite thing about herself “is being Ian’s mom.”

“And I can’t say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotions that come with that, I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey,” she said.

“I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom. Only me. And so, it’s mine and the sadness will never go away. It’ll always be with me,” she added.