GOALLLLL! US Men's Soccer Overcomes Garbage Red Card, Disallowed Scores to Achieve Epic World Cup Victory

Watching Wednesday night’s FIFA World Cup clash between the United States and Bosnia and Herzegovina, I found myself thinking: this is exactly the kind of match that turns some Americans off soccer. Goals wiped away, theatrical reactions to light contact — and then a highly questionable red card that nearly snatched a U.S. win away.

Still, by the final whistle, I was convinced. The Americans regrouped, dug in, and delivered a memorable 2-0 victory even after playing with 10 men for more than 36 minutes.

That red card carried a heavy price. It not only forced the ejected player off the field, but also left the U.S. unable to bring on a substitute, giving Bosnia and Herzegovina a one-man advantage. On top of that, the suspension means the Americans will enter the round of 16 without one of their top attacking threats.

So take another look: did Folarin Balogun — the American forward who scored the opening goal — appear to be deliberately trying to injure an opponent, or was it simply an unfortunate collision? A punch or obvious act of violence would be one thing. This looked like the kind of contact that can happen during any challenge.

The reason this bothers me so much is that, even if there was no dark intent by the official, the savage punishment at least gives the appearance of someone putting the thumb on the scale, just like California’s mail-in ballot system and endless vote-counting season raises questions.

But let’s move on to nice things, shall we? Not only did the United States not fold their tent after the massive setback, but they kept coming — relentlessly. Watch this goal. Watch this beautiful goal. How does Malik Tillman make the ball move like that on this free kick?!

Goalllllllllllll!


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Here’s Balogun’s goal earlier in the game. We will surely miss him in the next round. Thanks, VAR (Video Assistant Referee).

Watch the precise passing:

The game could have ended 4-0 in our favor, but two goals were disallowed on offside calls. Darn Euros, what the heck is with all this offsides? Let ’em play. (Soccer purists will almost surely drag me for that one, but offside calls feel like AWFLs crashing your party).

I remember in my ’20s realizing I’d never been to Europe, so I bought a Eurail pass and would just show up at train stations and pick destinations at random. It was one of the greatest trips in my life. What I did not plan on, however, was that the World Cup was underway. I decided I’d try to get into it, so I watched matches at cafes (and yes, bars) and tried to become a fan.

I couldn’t. It seemed like every game devolved into a keepaway sleepfest, and the final scores were often 1-0 — if not 0-0. I don’t know if I’ve changed or if the game has, because I’ve been trying to watch games when I can, and I’ve frankly been highly entertained. That’s almost certainly helped by the fact that the Cup is being hosted by the United States (fine, we’ll give a little credit to Canada and Mexico too, since they’re co-hosting), and the American team is doing well.

That and the fact that Americans are showing amazing patriotism and love for the country. Eat this, America-hating liberals:

On to the next, a round-of-16 battle with Belgium on Monday. Keep rocking it, USMNT!

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