By Marissa Streit
When California passed legislation barring minors from using certain online platforms built around “addictive features,” much of the public anger was directed at social media companies. Google, Meta, TikTok, and others are suing to stop the law before it takes effect in January 2027. Yet the broader debate is ultimately less about technology than about how we raise children.
I am a mother of three, and my children’s happiness matters deeply to me. But it is not the highest value I want to teach them.
How often do we ask children to think about duty? Do we ask what they have done to help someone else, whether they recognize the effect their demands have on the family, or how their choices might affect their parents financially, emotionally, or even in terms of the family’s reputation?
Children must also learn that their decisions can affect people who had no role in making them. Carelessness can cause parents tremendous distress and place burdens on siblings. Saying, “I just wanted to have fun,” is not a justification for forcing others to bear the consequences.
Teaching duty also means setting expectations. A child should be able to clear the table without bargaining for a prize. A teenager can help with household chores, watch a younger sibling, and understand that a family’s finances are not limitless. Children should be taught to recognize what needs to be done and willingly take responsibility for part of it.
Benjamin Franklin captured this idea in a letter to Ezra Stiles, then president of Yale: “The most acceptable service we can render to Him is doing good to His other children.”
That brief statement offers a complete framework for moral education. Our lives are not meant to revolve solely around personal satisfaction. Other people have legitimate claims on our time, energy, attention, and sometimes our comfort. I worry about the consequences of raising children who never learn that responsibility.
Too many parents are so worried about provoking resentment that they abandon their better judgment. A child wants to attend an unsupervised party or join an online environment—such as social media—that she is not prepared to navigate. We recognize the danger, but then hear the familiar objections: “Everyone else is going.” “You don’t trust me.” “You never let me have fun.”
Parents should listen, explain their decisions, and change course when there is a compelling reason. But we must also be willing to endure our children’s disappointment. I would rather have my children resent a necessary rule for a while than have our family face the consequences of a danger I saw and lacked the courage to address. We do not owe our children an enjoyable weekend at any price. Our money, time, and peace of mind matter as well. Children need friendship and adventure, but they must also understand that family membership brings obligations—including appreciation for and care toward the parents who care for them.
When parenting becomes an exercise in satisfying every preference, removing any responsibility that interferes with “fun,” or weakening boundaries whenever a child protests, we teach a dangerous lesson: that a child’s happiness should always decide the matter.
We cannot spend the first 18 years of a child’s life shielding him or her from every reasonable limit and then expect that young adult to handle the sacrifices required by a meaningful life. The habits needed for commitment and self-denial have to begin at home.
Adult responsibilities are increasingly portrayed as threats to personal freedom. Marriage may appear to restrict independence. Children may seem likely to derail ambitions. Caring for elderly parents may complicate carefully arranged plans. In this mindset, obligation becomes something to escape.
SEE ALSO: Russell Brand Ordered to Leave Jemima Goldsmith’s Home in 2014
Of course, many people cannot marry or have children for reasons beyond their control, and many unmarried Americans devote themselves to lives of remarkable service. The issue is not whether everyone must follow the same path. The concern is the idea that inconvenience or sacrifice is, by itself, a reason to reject commitment.
When a man dismisses marriage because it could reduce his comfort, or a woman rejects motherhood because she wants to devote herself entirely to personal goals, we should ask where that view of life was formed. Did we prepare our children for commitments that will sometimes require them to put another person’s needs ahead of their own?
The commandment to honor one’s mother and father places this responsibility near the heart of moral life. In a household, honoring parents must be more than an abstract phrase. It should involve gratitude, honesty, helpfulness, and awareness of how personal decisions affect the people who provide care and support. Children should learn to ask how they can lighten a parent’s load.
Children should discover the satisfaction that comes from being useful, reliable, and trusted. They should understand the reward of making another person’s day easier. Family life can help them see why, someday, they may want to create a family of their own.
Maturity requires growing independence and taking reasonable risks. Parents must prepare children to exercise sound judgment—to balance enjoyment against potential harm and to weigh their responsibilities to others. That work becomes nearly impossible if we eliminate every expectation that might cause a child temporary unhappiness.
Parents must also be candid about their own motives. When we abandon a sound boundary because we cannot bear the possibility of being resented, we may be protecting our own comfort rather than our child. Courageous parenting means accepting the inconvenience, conflict, and disruption that come with raising another human being.
The Constitution’s preamble promises liberty “to ourselves and our Posterity.” Its authors understood that their responsibilities extended beyond their own lifetimes. Preserving that inheritance requires adults to build strong families and raise children who recognize that they, too, will owe something to those who come after them.
That is why courageous parenting should become the standard. Instead of teaching children to place their desires at the center of life, we should expect them to consider how they can serve others. The lesson starts at home. When a child would rather be doing something else, we should sometimes have the courage to say: “Someone is counting on you.”
Franklin urged us to serve God by doing good for His children. Parents should raise their own children with that responsibility in mind. If we teach children to care only about themselves, we should not be surprised when they are unprepared to preserve a country.
Marissa Streit is CEO of PragerU and host of Real Talk.
Editor’s Note: President Trump is fighting to ensure America’s kids get the education they deserve.
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