A well-known YouTuber has told fans he is weighing the possibility of euthanasia in Switzerland, saying chronic pain has made it increasingly difficult to keep producing videos while medical expenses continue to pile up.
Max Gilardi, 38, the animator behind the YouTube channel hotdiggedydemon, shared the startling update during a livestream on Saturday.
“After considering every option I could think of, ultimately that solution has taken the form of doctor-assisted euthanasia,” Gilardi said.
Gilardi built a large online following with animated parodies of major franchises, including Five Nights at Freddy’s and My Little Pony. His channel has drawn more than 2.1 million subscribers and nearly 500 million views.
But he said his ability to make content has been sharply affected by a string of health problems, beginning with a 2024 diagnosis of fibromyalgia, a condition associated with widespread chronic pain.
“I’m tired all the time. I spend a lot of my time lying down. I get a lot of bad pain in all my joints and my muscles, ankles, shins, hands, knees, hips, neck. I have a lot of difficulty sleeping,” Gilardi said.
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The animator also described other troubling symptoms that he said doctors have not been able to explain, including sudden drooling and problems speaking, while noting that his medical bills have continued to rise.
“There’s nothing more expensive than living,” Gilardi said.
His decision to potentially end his life came after a long deliberation and looks like a “natural conclusion,” he said.
“My existence has become one where I suffer and barely scrape by so I can continue to sustain an existence where I barely scrape by and suffer,” Gilardi said.
He said he plans to go to Switzerland for the life-ending move, erroneously stating that euthanasia is legal in the country.
Swiss law bans euthanasia, which is mainly administered by a health professional, though the country allows for assisted suicide, meaning that the person who wants to die technically administers the death blow themselves.
Backlash to the announcement has led to Gilardi saying that he plans to reconsider ending his life, at least for the time being.
“Decided I’m not thinking clearly, will reassess,” he said in an X post Sunday.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
