Cabin crew training is designed to prepare us for almost anything. We learn first aid, how to reassure anxious passengers and how to respond when an emergency develops at 35,000ft.
We are also taught how to react when someone slaps us on the backside while we are serving a drink, how to manage an aggressive passenger who has mixed alcohol with Valium and how to clear up after a wealthy traveller has been sick from too much wine.
So when Unite published a survey last week revealing widespread abuse and harassment across the aviation industry, I recognised the figures immediately. At Gatwick, 74 per cent of workers said they experienced verbal abuse every month, while 42 per cent reported physical abuse. For years, that was simply part of my working life.
Alcohol was identified as the leading cause by 95 per cent of cabin crew questioned.
Most grown adults believe they know their limits. Some are even convinced they can safely combine large amounts of alcohol with prescription medication intended to calm them, or with recreational drugs.
But an aircraft is hardly the place to test that confidence. Cabin crew regularly witness the consequences when passengers get it badly wrong.
And we often notice the warning signs long before a passenger reaches crisis point. Many travellers assume our attention switches off once the drinks trolley has been through the cabin. In reality, that is when our observation becomes more focused. Behind the practiced smile, I am working out who needs watching, who should be served more slowly and who must not be given another bottle of wine.
After 25 years as cabin crew, I became exceptionally good at reading people. I sometimes think I could spot trouble faster than a CIA agent.
Cabin crew are trained to handle everything from medical incidents and anxious passengers to serious emergencies
The bottle of vodka hidden inside a designer handbag? I noticed it immediately.
The colleagues who boarded with their laptops, only to spend the flight holding hands? I saw what was happening.
The couple who had drunk too much and looked ready to start a fight? I was already checking whether another seat was available.
These are some of the most memorable incidents I encountered during my years in the air.
Passengers already loaded before take-off
In my experience, groups of women were generally less likely than groups of men to become completely drunk before or during a flight.
A woman travelling alone could be a different story, particularly after a delay. Some passengers would spend the wait in the airport bar beside the gate, drinking large 250ml glasses of wine one after another.
Ground staff would occasionally warn us about passengers they believed needed extra attention.
On one flight, a 30-minute delay gave one woman ample time to become a concern. She was slumped in her seat, wearing a Panama hat and talking rapidly to her son on the telephone.
She was also drinking from a bottle concealed inside her Mulberry handbag, apparently convinced that I could not see it. I could.
I repeatedly asked her to put away her phone and switch it off. Each time she agreed, only to start using it again moments later.
The routine became absurd. Eventually, I told her she could be removed from the aircraft if she continued. That finally worked. I placed the phone in her bag and stored it in the overhead locker. Once we were airborne, she caused no further trouble and slept noisily for most of the journey.
The danger of cocaine
‘He was at least six feet tall and I was just five foot two. As he reached the aircraft door, it became obvious he was considering trying to open it’
Passengers affected by drugs can create serious safety risks. On a daytime flight to Spain, I noticed a young man with unusually dilated pupils.
He kept rubbing his nose and spoke rapidly to the passenger beside him. I suspected cocaine, although I could not prove what he had taken.
His conduct soon became much more alarming. Halfway through the flight, he announced loudly that he needed to get off, stood up and headed towards an emergency exit.
He was more than six feet tall; I was five foot two. The closer he got to the aircraft door, the clearer it became that he might actually try to open it. I shouted, ‘You are not going to do that.’
Even now, I am not sure how I managed to turn him around and steer him back to his seat. I was young, and this was my first encounter with a passenger who appeared to be extremely high. Only afterwards did I remember that I should have reported it to the purser, who was responsible for cabin safety.
I can only hope his name and seat details were added to a no-fly list.
Colleagues who became too friendly
After an incident like that, alcohol-fuelled office romances seem almost harmless. Two passengers would board together, clearly colleagues travelling for work. During the first hour, they would open their laptops and work side by side.
Then the drinks would arrive. She would choose Prosecco, he would order gin and tonics, and their professional relationship would gradually become more personal. Before long, they were noticeably flirtatious and touchy.
Sometimes hands vanished beneath blankets. On other occasions, both passengers disappeared into the lavatory together.
One pair were staying in the same hotel as the crew. After watching them grow increasingly close during the flight, we spotted them continuing their romance in the hotel bar that evening.
Arguments at cruising altitude
At the opposite end of the romantic spectrum were the couples whose relationships appeared to be collapsing in mid-air.
One couple travelling with their two children and the children’s grandparents had a spectacular argument in economy class.
She began provoking him before the seatbelt sign had even been switched off. By cruising altitude, she was muttering insults under her breath and appeared heavily intoxicated. Soon they were shouting directly into each other’s faces. Other passengers stared at the floor, unsure where to look, but I had to intervene before the argument became physical.
We had a spare seat in the premium cabin, so I moved the calmer passenger, the husband, away from the confrontation.
The children were seated with their grandparents, while the woman remained apart from them. I was tasked with monitoring her to ensure she did not go searching for her husband. When we landed, authorities escorted her from the aircraft.
Celebrities behaving badly
The destination can offer a clue about the flight ahead. Ibiza services are often as lively as passengers expect
The destination can sometimes tell you a great deal about the atmosphere likely to develop on a flight. Ibiza routes, for example, are often exactly as lively as people imagine.
On one journey, we had left the gate and were taxiing towards the runway after receiving the instruction to set the doors to automatic and cross-check. Suddenly, a celebrity passenger stood up and demanded that we return to the gate because he believed he had left his phone behind.
He was plainly drunk and created an enormous disturbance. Other passengers called out for him to sit down, but he would not listen. He insisted that the aircraft had to turn around so he could retrieve the phone. Eventually, the captain decided the safest and least disruptive option was to return to the gate and remove him.
We went back, and around 20 minutes later departed without him. I sincerely hope his luggage was removed as well.
Valium, wine and aggression
On a flight to Orlando, I was sitting in the jump seat during take-off when the woman opposite began repeatedly calling me a ‘f***ing stuck-up bitch’. She claimed she was angry because I was looking at her in an aggressive way.
Once the seatbelt sign went off, I moved away. My colleague was left to calm her down and manage her increasingly hostile behaviour for the rest of the flight.
After landing, she apologised and explained that she was extremely nervous about flying. She had taken Valium with a glass of wine, hoping the combination would make her sleep through the journey.
Drunken stag parties
From April onwards, flights to Las Vegas are often packed with stag groups. Most groups of men are harmless, although there are exceptions. One passenger approached me while I was working in the rear galley.
We had chatted earlier, but there is a clear difference between being friendly and flirting, and I had not encouraged anything beyond polite conversation.
By then, however, he was clearly intoxicated and slurring his words. He tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around, he had undone his trousers and was plainly trying to expose himself. ‘Pull yourself together, please, sir,’ I said coldly, weighing up whether to report the incident under our inappropriate-behaviour procedure or simply send him back to his seat.
I chose the latter and made sure the crew knew not to serve him any more alcohol. I did not feel physically threatened, but I was appalled that he believed his behaviour was acceptable.
A police officer escorts an intoxicated man from a Ryanair flight
One of the main difficulties with alcohol on an aircraft is that crew cannot know what a passenger has already consumed before boarding or what they have purchased in duty-free. One group of men repeatedly asked for soft drinks, yet their voices became louder and their behaviour more disruptive.
At the end of the flight, we discovered vodka bottles beneath their seats. As we had suspected, they had been using alcohol from their under-seat bags to make their own drinks.
Golfers who overdid the drinks
It is not only young travellers heading off for a week of nightlife who begin their holidays by drinking too much. Groups of men travelling to Florida for golf could be equally noisy and inappropriate.
I remember one passenger who walked into the galley instead of using the call bell to request another drink. I turned to collect the bottles and felt him slap my bottom. This happened before the #MeToo movement, when cabin crew were often expected not to offend customers, so I had to laugh awkwardly and continue working.
On long-haul flights, we sometimes ran out of the miniature spirits bottles. When that happened, I had a discreet way of slowing down passengers who were drinking too quickly.
I would tell them, ‘I can’t give you another bottle, but I can make you a drink.’ The result was mostly mixer with the tiniest amount of alcohol: roughly two per cent booze and 98 per cent soft drink.
First-class passengers and miniature wine bottles
There is a widespread assumption that passengers in first class will be polished and courteous. That is certainly not guaranteed.
One affluent woman travelling from London to Washington DC looked every inch the sophisticated passenger, with elegant clothes, expensive jewellery and a smart handbag. She was also exceptionally rude and patronising. Nothing about the meal service met her expectations.
She demanded a dish that had already run out and was furious when told it was unavailable.
Because she had paid thousands for her ticket, I arranged to swap her meal with a more accommodating passenger so she could have her preferred choice. She still found fault, complaining that it was not hot enough.
Throughout the service, she continued asking for red wine. Before taking my break, I warned the other crew members that she was becoming intoxicated and asked them to monitor her. When I returned, she was completely drunk and had vomited over herself. Her clothes were covered in red-wine stains, yet she was still incredibly asking for another glass. This time I refused and offered her water instead.
After landing, she staggered from the cabin and nearly fell down the aircraft steps, her once-impressive outfit covered in red-wine vomit. I could not resist a private smile as I watched her leave.
As told to Samantha Brick
