From Joey Barton's French accent to Steve McClaren's dismal Dutch effort: When English football expats get foreign languages WRONG after Trent Alexander-Arnold dazzled with his perfect Spanish at Real Madrid unveiling
Share this @internewscast.com

British players have a track record of struggling outside of the United Kingdom. Watching an export of ours speaking in an exotic tongue can seem like a new episode of An Idiot Abroad. 

Ian Rush was said to have quipped that ‘he couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.’ It was an astute observation.

A generation of players with a reputation for appalling language skills has been the norm. That is why when Trent Alexander-Arnold stunned Real Madrid by introducing himself in flawless Spanish, it was like watching Arthur pull out Excalibur from the stone. Few had thought it possible. 

It’s also a symbol of a new type of English footballer, one that isn’t afraid to step out of the cultural comfort zone and move on to new things. Alexander-Arnold is not alone. Fikayo Tomori dedicated himself to learning fluent Italian and regularly delivers post-match broadcast interviews in the language at AC Milan. Jude Bellingham has seemingly had a good start to his Spanish lessons, with a certain affinity to the word ‘vamos’.

Unfortunately, we are not free from the memory of their forerunners who butchered the languages of their hosts. Here are the most memorable.

Trent Alexander-Arnold stunned Real Madrid as he spoke perfect Spanish at his unveiling

Trent Alexander-Arnold stunned Real Madrid as he spoke perfect Spanish at his unveiling

The former Liverpool star bucked the perception of English players butchering foreign tongues

The former Liverpool star bucked the perception of English players butchering foreign tongues

He did, however, rely on a translator to help him understand some of the questions he faced

He did, however, rely on a translator to help him understand some of the questions he faced

Joey Barton at Marseille (2012)

Joey Barton invoked his best impression of Officer Crabtree from the BBC Sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo! while on loan at Marseille. 

After his Ligue 1 debut against Lille, he ditched the scouse, for a self-proclaimed ‘Bartonese’, a new dialect of English, in which the speaker adopts a hyper-stereotypical French persona. 

He said ‘Maybe the one criticism of the French Ligue is it’s a leetle bit boring’. He then tweeted, ‘Steve McClaren… eat your heart out’. 

Joey Barton couldn't help but put on a French accent - but still spoke English while at Marseille

Joey Barton couldn’t help but put on a French accent – but still spoke English while at Marseille

Gareth Bale at Real Madrid (2013 – 2021)

‘Golf. Wales. Madrid.’ Famously in that order. What wasn’t written, but was definitely included as a subheading of that Madrid part, was ‘Spanish’. 

Bale did not want to learn Spanish. It’s lucky he was a supremely talented footballer playing for an incredibly gifted team. 

The tactics were easy. Give the ball to Cristiano or Benzema, or have a pop yourself. Simple. 

A hilarious video was released in which Bale took part in a chat with Spanish publication Marca, during which a small group of Madrid players exchanged information about themselves in order for fans to get to know them a little better. 

Standing together in the Real Madrid team plane, Bale joined Luka Modric, Sergio Ramos, Marcelo and Casemiro for a chat. He was asked gently by former teammate Modric, ‘what are the three things you carry in your luggage?’ 

Bale looked perplexed. ‘I don’t have a clue what you’ve just said,’ replied the Welshman with a deadpan expression. 

Joe Hart (left) famously prized golf and Wales above Real Madrid - and didn't appear to bother much with the language either

Joe Hart (left) famously prized golf and Wales above Real Madrid – and didn’t appear to bother much with the language either

Joe Hart at Torino (2016)

In his Torino introduction, Joe Hart read fluent Italian directly from a script for his, before asking everyone to only ask him questions in English. 

He let out an enormous sigh of relief once he’d finished reading out his, *checks watch*, 39 seconds of Italian. 

There wasn’t much more Italian after that. But Hart did insist that he was going to put in every effort to become more adept in the Romance language. 

‘I’m doing [language] lessons at every opportunity. I think it was most important for me to learn how speak and communicate with the players on the football field before I could have a conversation in a coffee shop,’ he said. 

‘Now I’ll be looking to take major strides forward top really improve my Italian in order to interact on a daily basis.’

Joe Hart presented an ambitious plan for his Italian learnign but we were never blessed with the results

Joe Hart presented an ambitious plan for his Italian learnign but we were never blessed with the results

Steve McClaren at FC Twente (2008)

When 22 Jump Street was released in 2014, one of the opening scenes had the world in stitches. 

When Channing Tatum’s character ‘Jenko’ is pressed for his identity by members of the cartel, he panics and responds with a laughably cringeworthy Spanish-infused response of ‘my name is Jeff’. Comedic genius. 

Steve McClaren was ahead of the curve. When interviewed by Dutch media, he put on a super-thick Dutch accent, announcing himself as ‘Schteeve’ and maintaining it throughout his two year spell as manager. 

And maybe it wasn’t the worst idea. Something rubbed off on the players, as they won the Eredivisie title in 2009-10.  

Steve McLaren maintained a Dutch accent while speaking English at Twente... at least he came away with a league title for his troubles!

Steve McLaren maintained a Dutch accent while speaking English at Twente… at least he came away with a league title for his troubles!

Jadon Sancho at Dortmund (2021) 

Jadon Sancho was electric at Dortmund. Simply one of the best English youngsters there had ever been. 

After scoring two goals, one of which was a screamer, in the final of the DFB-Pokal, Sancho delivered his post-match interview with a curious accent. 

He spoke like Karl, the German exchange student trying to make friends in freshers’ week, rather than Jadon, the 20-year-old winger who grew up in South London his whole life. 

It didn’t look forced, either. That’s just the sign of a man who immersed himself into Westphalian culture, even at the expense of his own. 

Jadon Sancho was a storming success at Borussia Dortmund but never quick cracked the lingo

Jadon Sancho was a storming success at Borussia Dortmund but never quick cracked the lingo

David Moyes combined English and Spanish in one of his early interviews at Real Sociedad - but quickly regretted it

David Moyes combined English and Spanish in one of his early interviews at Real Sociedad – but quickly regretted it

David Moyes at Real Sociedad (2014) 

While managing Real Sociedad, David Moyes attempted Spanish during an interview but faltered when he forgot the word for ‘times’. 

‘I know about the B-team,’ he began. ‘I know about some of the players. They have been training with me, dos, tres, quatro… times, and, er, but I’ve not seen them play.’

His visible regret mid-sentence was noted as a relatable but awkward moment. Unlike Barton, at least Moyes was trying to speak the actual language rather than a bizarre form of accented English. 

It didn’t his case. He only lasted 42 games with the Spanish side before returning to English football with Sunderland.

Share this @internewscast.com
You May Also Like

Loris Karius Opens Up About His Marriage to TV Host Diletta Leotta and Their Long-Distance Living Arrangement

Loris Karius has bared all on his relationship with his famous wife,…

5 Key Insights from Newcastle United’s 0-1 Defeat to K League XI: New Striker Target, Sesko Transfer Update, and Rising Teen Star

Newcastle were beaten 1-0 by a K-League XI at the Suwon World…

Discover the man behind superstars’ dream moves: Jamie ‘Velocity’ of Nike has collaborated with Marcus Rashford, Jack Grealish, Phil Foden, and Bruno Fernandes

It is no secret Jack Grealish enjoyed himself on his month-long booze-filled…

From Man United Teammate to Cake Business Entrepreneur: My Journey with Marcus Rashford and Scott McTominay to Inspiring the Next Generation

Ntumba Massanka’s most heartbreaking moment in life came in football – so…

Josko Gvardiol of Man City Prepares for Season with ‘Intense Tactical Training’

While the majority of footballers spend their off-seasons either relaxing on a…

Martin Dismisses Worries Over Dugout Ban Following Red Card in Middlesbrough Friendly

Russell Martin claims he isn’t worried about being hit with a touchline…

Why Arsenal Think Viktor Gyokeres Could End Their 21-Year Title Drought After Choosing the £64m Star Over Benjamin Sesko

A season full of missed chances in front of goal left Arsenal…

Pep Guardiola Channels Ted Lasso Vibes with Fresh Style Choice

Pep Guardiola has switched up his style – and Manchester City fans…

Nike Revives ‘Joga Bonito’ Spirit with New Kit Release

Few football jerseys evoke fond memories like Brazil’s Nike Total 90 kit…

Mark Clattenburg Claims Ex-Chelsea Star John Obi Mikel Attempted to Punch Him Following Racial Abuse Allegations, Suggests Blues Sought ‘Revenge’ for John Terry-Anton Ferdinand Race Incident

Mark Clattenburg has accused former Chelsea star John Obi Mikel of trying…

Hugo Ekitike Seen Training in Vintage Gerrard Jersey Weeks Ahead of Rumored £80m Liverpool Transfer

Hugo Ekitike showed his interest in joining Liverpool as photos surfaced of…

Michael Vaughan on England’s Need for a ‘Psychologist’ for Australian Ashes; Alastair Cook Raises Alarm on Liam Dawson

England will be under the microscope like never before in the Ashes…