MUSTANG, Okla. (KFOR) An Oklahoma woman is speaking out with allegations that she was sexually abused in her church.

She says it happened years ago when she was a teenage youth group member of a large Southern Baptist church.

The accused was an associate youth pastor at the time.

He has worked at two different churches over the years, and he is now the mayor of Mustang.

Twenty years ago, Brian Grider was hired as an associate youth pastor at Chisholm Heights Baptist Church.

“Brian was beloved. Everyone adored him. He had a lot of charisma. He had ambition to be a youth group leader or be a youth pastor,” said Tara, who was a member of the church from 1995 to 2008.

In 2005, Grider was an adult, 21 years old, and a church employee; Tara was 15 years old.

She remembers that Grider bought her a secret cell phone.

“He wanted me to have it so that we could talk together without my parents knowing. It was secret, and we were in constant communication,” Tara said. “We were texting all day, every day, and the questions became more and more inappropriate. Our conversation was constant, like in the middle of church services. I have memories of him texting me and watching me from across the room.”

At 16 years old, Tara says, Grider started giving her pornography DVDs and sex toys, vibrators wrapped in gift bags.

At 17 years old, she remembers the night she drank alcohol for the first time at Brian Grider’s apartment.

“I’d never done that before,” she said. “He was giving me shots of things in his apartment. I remember getting pretty sick, and I remember at one point waking up or noticing that he was molesting me with a vibrator. I asked him to stop, and he did. I absolutely felt violated. It was confusing to me that someone who cared so much about my sexual purity, who was preaching about things like that at the pulpit on Wednesday nights, felt like that was an okay thing to do.”

Crippled by shame, she waited years to speak out.

In 2019, the Southern Baptist Convention was exposed for widespread allegations of sexual misconduct and a shocking cover-up.

In 2020, Tara first told her family and some friends about her experience at Chisholm Heights Baptist Church.

She wrote a letter to her immediate family members detailing years of grooming, coercion, and manipulation allegedly by Brian Grider.

In 2022, Guidepost Solutions published a scathing report about the handling of the Southern Baptist crisis.

Guidepost launched a hotline for victims, and Tara called in.

She reported her former youth pastor for “sexual grooming and molestation.”

“When SBC opened up a hotline, I knew that I was supposed to let the church community know,” Tara said.

The Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) did not launch an investigation into Brian Grider.

Instead, the SBC Credentials Committee notified two Oklahoma churches about the complaint against Brian Grider.

One of the hallmarks of the Southern Baptist Convention is the denomination’s churches operate autonomously. There is no formal governmental body which dictates local policy.

As such, the Southern Baptist Convention did not investigate Tara’s complaint or direct any specific church to cut ties.

The SBC Credentials Committee, however, does have the power to determine whether a church can remain a member of the Convention.

It is the Credentials Committee which determines whether a local church has a faith practice that closely identifies with the Convention’s adopted statements of faith and whether the church is acting in a manner that is consistent with the Convention’s beliefs regarding sexual abuse.

Two years after Tara first called the Guidepost Solutions sex abuse hotline, the Southern Baptist Credentials Committee notified Chisholm Heights Baptist Church, where Grider was employed as an associate youth pastor at the time of the allegations, and Together We Church, formerly Trinity Church, where Grider had been employed as a media director. 

The SBC Credentials Committee wrote in a letter to the churches that Grider had been accused of the molestation of a 15-year-old girl.

It took two years for the Southern Baptist Convention to take that action.

The Southern Baptist Convention would not answer our questions about why it took two years for the credentials committee to notify the local churches about the allegation against Brian Grider.

SBC provided the following statement:

The Southern Baptist Convention takes sexual abuse seriously. We are deeply grieved by all instances of sexual abuse and recommend Southern Baptist churches take appropriate steps to care for survivors and work future instances. We urge all parties in this case to contact appropriate local authorities.

Brandon Porter, Vice President of Communications, SBC Executive Committee

In October 2024, the senior pastor at Together We Church told his congregation, Grider admitted to the sexual misconduct and was immediately terminated.

Together We Church would not release additional details about Grider’s employment.

Executive Pastor, Jonathan Hinkle, released the following statement:

We are deeply grieved by the serious allegations involving a former staff member of our church. Our hearts are heavy for the victim, and we want to affirm our unwavering commitment to standing against abuse in any form. Upon learning of this matter, we acted immediately to address the situation with integrity and transparency. We prayerfully support the victim and are committed to walking alongside them in this difficult time. We also hold all those involved in prayer, asking for God’s healing and grace to cover every life impacted by these events.

Jonathan Hinkle, Executive Pastor with Together We Church

Grider has not been an employee of Chisholm Heights Baptist Church for approximately 15 years.

The Chisholm Heights Senior Pastor, Dr. Griff Henderson, released the following statement:

Our church has stringent safety protocols in place for children, youth, and adults, and has for many years. The well being of people is our priority. The well being of our people is our priority.

Dr. Griff Henderson, Chisholm Heights Senior Pastor

Both local churches seemed to stand with the victim, swiftly distancing from the accused.

The City of Mustang has not.

Brian Grider was first elected to the Mustang City Council in 2015, long before these allegations came to light.

In 2020, he won the election for mayor overwhelmingly.

He is serving his second term.

News 4 has tried for months to contact Mustang Mayor Brian Grider to ask him about the allegations of sexual abuse.

He won’t respond to phone calls, text messages, or emails.

We went to his home. He didn’t answer the door.

We looked for the Mustang mayor at the Association of Central Oklahoma Governments (ACOG), where he’s the chair of the Board of Directors.

Grider skipped three public meetings on the day we came to these public meetings to speak with him.

We tried Mustang City Hall. Grider does not have an office at City Hall.

We emailed every Mustang City Council member and received no response from a single council person:

• Michael Ray – Ward 1
• Joshua Leete – Ward 2
• James Wald – Ward 3
• James Waugh – Ward 4
• Travis McKenzie – formerly Ward 5
• Kayla Balliew – Ward 5
• Nathan Sholund – Ward 6

The city manager, Tim Rooney, denied our request for a statement from the city.

The Mustang City Attorney, Jonathan Miller, made no attempt to address our concerns at the Mustang City Council meeting on April 1st, when News 4’s Ali Meyer attempted to speak to Mayor Brian Grider.

The mayor refused to answer our questions before the public meeting.

News 4 waited until the end of the meeting, when the mayor immediately left council chambers, slamming the door and blocking Ali Meyer from opening it.

The city council, city manager, and city attorney stood by in silence.

“There’s only one rationale for that, and that rationale is cowardice,” said David Clohessy, a former director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP).

Studies by child sex abuse experts suggest victims take an average of 24 years to come forward.

Tara first told her family and some friends in 2020, two years before she reported to the SBC.

“It’s especially hurtful when that adult has a position of authority like teacher, coach, principal, pastor, or youth leader,” Clohessy said. “That’s especially damaging, and it makes it even harder for victims to speak up.”

Tara never called the police.

She has not filed a civil lawsuit.

She tells KFOR, the mayor’s rise to power is a daily reminder of her experience.

“I just cannot stress enough how much I admire and appreciate this brave, brave woman, because the easiest thing to do about evil is to do nothing. The easiest thing to do when you’re suffering is to just suffer in silence and shame and self-blame,” Clohessy said.

Tara has made no effort to contact Brian Grider since the relationship ended 15 years ago.

She says he reached out to her by text the week he won the election for mayor, in 2020.

She did not respond.

Brian Grider is an elected official.

The citizens of Mustang hold the power.

According to the city manager, a recall election is the only way to remove Mayor Brian Grider.

“My hope is that in coming forward about this, other people who’ve experienced these exact or similar scenarios are able to see them for what they are and ask questions of the people around them; and expect safety from their environments and expect accountability from the people who are supposed to be taking care of them, particularly in the church,” said Tara. “I feel very strongly about that.”

The local church cut ties quickly, facing this reckoning head-on, holding an accused abuser accountable.

It is a step the City of Mustang has been unable or unwilling to take.