AMANDA PLATELL: I know Meghan and Harry's next move

The self-pitying, money-grubbing Sussexes’ Netflix series Harry & Meghan, which aired in 2020 with Meghan openly mocking the Royal Family by showing how deeply she had to curtsy to the Queen, became the most-watched Netflix docuseries of its day, with a total of 81.6 million views in its first four days.

What a contrast to this week’s With Love, Meghan offering, in which she meaninglessly showed us how to make ice cubes with violet petals while Harry failed even to put in an appearance – presumably he was feeding the chooks.

The show failed even to hit Netflix’s top ten chart, despite the revelation that the first time Harry said ‘I love you’ was three weeks after their first date.

The fact that it has flopped should, however, ring alarm bells for the Windsors. Because it is now abundantly clear that unless they are trashing the rest of the family, the Sussexes have no currency and no access to Netflix’s or anyone else’s millions. Especially now they’ve had their former $100million deal reduced to an arrangement which simply leaves Netflix with the option of ‘first refusal’ on any shows the Sussexes create.

Meghan the domestic goddess is hardly cutting the mustard. Harry’s Polo docu-series was a flop, just like his worthy but unremarkable documentary on the Invictus Games, which he co-founded.

But there is one thing this former distinguished soldier has left in his armoury: a Netflix series about Diana.

This would surely net the couple squillions, enough to pay for Harry and Megs’s self-indulgent lifestyle for decades to come.

Indeed Harry is even reported to be in serious talks with Netflix to produce such a series, for broadcast around the 30th anniversary of Diana’s death in 2027. Which should sound serious alarm bells for both King Charles and Prince William – as well as Queen Camilla and Princess Catherine, both of whom were vilified in his memoir Spare.

Prince Harry is rumoured to be in discussions with streaming giant Netflix for a documentary marking 30 years since Princess Diana's death

Prince Harry is rumoured to be in discussions with streaming giant Netflix for a documentary marking 30 years since Princess Diana’s death

A series about his mother is one thing is one thing that Harry does have left in his armoury

A series about his mother is one thing is one thing that Harry does have left in his armoury

The Sussexes' impact has greatly dwindled since the first episode of Harry & Meghan

The Sussexes’ impact has greatly dwindled since the first episode of Harry & Meghan

Imagine the proposed script. My mother and I joyfully sliding down the water slope at Thorpe Park. Me, just 12 years old, tearful and distraught, being forced by the cruel Royal Family to walk behind my mother’s coffin.

No mention of William’s pain – he has of course been relegated to the role of Harry’s nemesis, the ultimate villain.

Me sitting through the funeral service listening to my uncle Charles Spencer’s euology: ‘My sister Diana was the very essence of compassion, of duty, of style, of beauty’ and the ‘most hunted woman of the modern age…’

Then more attacks on the beastly royals and the media – not mentioning of course that Diana calculatingly used the very same media throughout her life to promote herself and demean Charles and Camilla, even going as far as to say in that famous Panorama interview that Charles was unfit, unwilling and unlikely to ever become King.

And that’s just the beginning. Crikey, Harry will have the whole world crying over his suffering in his My Mum Netflix documentary.

Quite where Meghan fits into this narrative is unclear, though she will no doubt insert herself into the pitiful story of Harry’s woes, to be revealed as his saviour from the cruel, dysfunctional royals whom she claims drove her to contemplate suicide.

Of course, Harry suffered unimaginable torment with the loss of his mother. But he should not rake it up all over again, for everyone’s sakes, not least his.

The sad truth, however, is that he’s likely to squeeze out every last drop of his victimhood to carry on making millions. And the Royal Family should be quivering with apprehension.

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