I am not, as far as I know, a masochist. But I have voluntarily watched near-enough every ball of England’s last few Ashes series Down Under.

And surely that should be sufficient penalty, right? Observing a group of our elite cricketers being physically challenged and mentally strained until they ultimately crumble like the scorched bail in the Ashes urn. Incidentally, it stands at 13-0 to Australia over the last 15 Tests played in their homeland.

Yet, that’s not all. The toughest aspect of enduring eight years of Ashes disappointment in Australia hasn’t just been staying up during the wee hours to witness Rory Burns getting bowled on the first delivery of the series, or seeing Steve Smith compile another century, or even Scott Boland claiming six for seven – six for seven! – at the MCG.

Since TNT outbid Sky for the broadcasting rights for the 2017-18 series, as part of an £80 million, five-year agreement with Cricket Australia, they have demonstrated a thorough lesson in how not to handle live sports coverage. Their peculiar plans for this winter’s series, revealed yesterday, hint at potentially reaching a further nadir.

Back in 2017, when TNT was known as BT Sport, they at least made an effort to take their cricket coverage seriously. They actually dispatched a team to Australia, featuring Ricky Ponting – an excellent analyst – alongside Geoffrey Boycott and Michael Vaughan as part of their high-profile pundit lineup in the southern hemisphere.

TNT Sports’ strategy to cover the 2025-26 Ashes from 10,000 miles away, with presenter Becky Ives and Sir Alastair Cook on-site in Australia, represents another setback for supporters of English cricket.

It is challenging enough to stay up late to witness Rory Burns losing his leg stump from the series’ first ball without having to endure Australian commentators describing it.

They entrusted commentary duties to the likes of Alison Mitchell, a trailblazing broadcaster with vast experience on Test Match Special. Their coverage as a whole wasn’t particularly slick, and all felt a bit amateur hour in contrast to the previous offerings on Sky Sports, but it was at least an attempt at doing something similar.

Unfortunately, TNT Sports stopped trying some years ago. Luxuries, such as sending commentators to actually cover the sport, are a distant memory. After all, a TNT subscription is £30.99 a month for the humble punter, and why should they expect the channel to do the bare minimum in return?

For the 2021-22 Ashes, TNT offered no more than a few pundits in a London studio some 10,000 miles away from the action, with their commentary feed taken directly from Australia’s Fox Sports.

Because there’s nothing a bleary-eyed English cricket fan watching their side getting thoroughly spanked at 4am likes hearing more than a gaggle of giggling Aussies.

Worse still, because Fox Sports were catering for, well, Fox Sports viewers, they would frequently show clips from other matches for which TNT did not have the rights, leaving UK viewers to stare at a blank space. Oh, and the ad breaks didn’t match up, meaning commentators were constantly cut off or cut to mid-sentence.

If that sounds bad, TNT didn’t even bother with UK-based studio analysis between sessions for England’s tour of New Zealand last year. Instead fans had to make do with pre-recorded puff pieces about Kiwi players, while for the first Test against India in January 2024, Matt Floyd had to host the production single-handedly, off-screen. Floyd did an admirable job in absurd circumstances, by the way.

TNT’s coverage of the upcoming Ashes sounds like a weird amalgam of their crimes of Christmas past. Some of their presenters – namely Sir Alastair Cook and Becky Ives – will be based in Australia, but lead commentators Alastair Eykyn and Rob Hatch – neither of whom have much cricket work under their belts – will be back in the UK.

Now Eykyn and Hatch have a good reputation in rugby and cycling respectively, but a commentary team with next to no cricket experience and separated from their pundits by several quite large oceans does not bode well. Not to mention their inability to see anything other than what their monitors are showing them.

England have a woeful record Down Under in recent years – here captain Pat Cummins leads the celebrations after Australia’s 4-0 win in 2021-22

For that series, TNT offered no more than a few pundits in a London studio 10,000 miles away, with their commentary feed taken directly from Australia’s Fox Sports

Scott Young, executive vice-president at TNT’s owners Warner Bros Discovery Sports Europe, insists that Eykyn and Hatch are ‘huge cricket fans’ and that viewers ‘won’t know’ where commentators are during live action. Hmmmm. 

Picture this not-very-hard-to-imagine scenario: Harry Brook takes a swipe at a well-directed Josh Hazlewood bouncer and the ball goes flying up in the air. How will Eykyn or Hatch know whether it’s heading for six or there’s a gleeful Aussie fielder waiting underneath it? What if another delivery is dispatched towards the boundary, the camera follows it, and the commentator can’t see the giant mix-up in the middle as both batters are caught at the same end?

Young also made a point of saying TNT’s coverage needs to appeal to those who aren’t cricket fans.

‘That’s why we’re bringing many of our sports broadcasters into the fold,’ he went on. ‘It’s about bringing the football, rugby, even fight-sports fanbase, and making them aware of the Ashes as a moment in time. If we can get people who are not normally going to watch cricket for a day or a Test, then that’s very much part of the TNT Sports ethos.’

Sorry for questioning the ethos, Scott, but UFC fans wanting to dip their toe into cricket – and there’s an army of them, of course – don’t tend to do so in the middle of the night.

You know who is watching cricket in the middle of the night? Cricket fans, who might just expect to be catered for, for once.

The sport may be an acquired taste but it has a large and dedicated fanbase, especially when the Ashes comes around. It doesn’t need to be dumbed down in the vain hope of appealing to those who aren’t interested. Suddenly the feed from Fox Sports sounds rather appealing.

We have, in fairness, been spoiled by the cricket coverage in this country. Since hoovering up the rights in 2006, Sky Sports have consistently shown how to ‘do’ cricket properly, marrying genuinely insightful analysis with eloquent, likeable broadcasters who know their subject matter inside out and share the odd laugh without it devolving into the confected ‘bantz’ that infects so much of sports broadcasting in 2025.

When Harry Brook hits out Down Under this winter, how will any of TNT Sports’ commentators (or viewers) know where the ball is going?

We have been spoiled in this country by Sky Sports’ superb cricket coverage – the same cannot be said for TNT

Mind you, even Sky’s output is some way below the standards set in its heyday. There’s fewer Tests shown, the county cricket coverage is a shadow of its former self.

Their commentary booth has suffered for the loss of Michael Holding, Shane Warne and David Lloyd, for various reasons, some tragic, some self-enforced.

But Sky remain a very safe pair of hands – and, in Nasser Hussain and Michael Atherton, have arguably the two finest sports broadcasters in the country. Watch a few hours of a Test match on Sky, and you will come away more knowledgeable about cricket and altogether happier about life.

The same cannot be said for TNT. I fear more Ashes pain awaits.