One-third of parents with estranged children blame therapy for rift

A growing number of parents who are no longer in contact with their adult children say therapy played a role in the family rupture, as some experts raise alarms about what they describe as an expanding culture of victimhood and emotional fragility.

In an April survey of 7,000 estranged parents, roughly one in three respondents said they believed their adult child’s therapist either encouraged them to sever family ties or helped shape the decision to walk away.

William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota, linked the trend to what he sees as society’s growing preoccupation with the language of “trauma.”

Parents are blaming bad therapy advice for why their adult children choose to cut off communications with them. Serhii – stock.adobe.com

“We are in a culture where we emphasize fragility, everything becomes trauma, and the solution increasingly is to split and leave,” Doherty told the Wall Street Journal.

He added that ending contact with a parent or close relative should remain a rare and painful last resort, “not business as usual in therapy.”

Family estrangement among young adults is no longer uncommon. A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that more than a quarter of young adults in the US are currently estranged from one or both parents, or have been in the past.

Karl Pillemer, a Cornell University family sociologist and professor of human development, told the Wall Street Journal that parent-child rifts may become even more frequent as political divides and social disagreements continue to strain relationships across generations.

The rise in family estrangement has sparked debate within the therapy community, with some mental health professionals warning that young adults who lose access to family support may be more vulnerable to entering — and remaining in — unhealthy or toxic relationships.

Peter Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist who helped conduct the April survey, also suggested therapists weren’t getting the full side of the story when recommending their clients cut off ties with their parents.

“A lot of therapists are taught to believe whatever the client is saying at face value,” Anderson told the WSJ. “They’re forming conclusions based on one person’s account.”

William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota.

Therapist William Doherty said it has become too easy for his colleagues to recommend a client cut off ties with their parents rather than mend the relationship. UMN

Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at Ohio State University who led the study in the Journal of Marriage and Family, suggested a cultural shift where adults opt to pursue positive relationships rather than immediately mend strained ones has made cutting off parents a more attractive option.

The study found that while estrangement appeared high, many people go on to restart communication with their parents — with some even pushing their parents to pursue therapy with them.

“Despite moderate estrangement events, estrangement appears to be a relatively unstable family dynamic, with most people ending estrangement in subsequent waves,” the study concluded, while also warning that even short-term estrangement can cause long-term consequences for a person’s well-being.

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