Alexa Gourneau was only nine years old when doctors diagnosed her with leukemia. Now 19, she has spent more than half her life fighting the disease.
After 10 years marked by chemotherapy, blood transfusions, medications and long hospital stays, Gourneau has made the deeply personal decision to end treatment and focus on living her remaining time like any other teenager.
The terminally ill teen has shared a bucket list filled with the simple joys and big adventures she hopes to experience in the days ahead.
Her wishes include eating pasta with her family, learning to skateboard, spending time with friends, cuddling her dog and going to concerts. She also dreams of visiting destinations such as Puerto Rico, Hawaii, South Carolina, Universal Studios and Paris.
Gourneau’s mother, Holly Vaughn, described the heartbreaking moment her daughter opened up on the family’s GoFundMe page: ‘One day we were driving together and she opened up to me in a way she never had before. Through tears she said “Mom, I just wish I could be a normal 19-year-old for a little while.”‘
Vaughn said Alexa explained that she was exhausted by years of illness, adding: ‘She told me she was tired of feeling sick, tired of the hospital stays, the needles, the medications, and never feeling like herself.’
Alexa Gourneau, 19, has chosen to stop leukemia treatment after a decade of chemotherapy, hospital visits, medications and blood transfusions. ‘I’m, like, over getting poked at and prodded at,’ she said
Gourneau hopes to fill her remaining time with comfort and joy, from cuddling her dog and enjoying favorite meals to being outdoors and spending as many moments as possible with friends and family
According to the GoFundMe set up by her mother, Gourneau said: ‘Mom, I’ve thought about this for a long time. I can laugh and joke around with you guys, but you don’t see what happens when I’m alone. You don’t see how exhausted I am or how much I hurt’
The decision was hard to explain to her loved ones.
Gourneau said to KHQ: ‘They get to leave if they want. They’re not the ones sitting here having to get poked at all the time, bugged, having to take all these medicines, feeling tired just by even walking down the stairs.’
‘I’m, like, over getting poked at and prodded at, like, this is not the quality of life that I want. This isn’t a good quality of life,’ she said.
Gourneau’s father, Justin Vaughn, said: ‘As tough as it is to say, I agree with your decision, it’s also super hard, because as a parent, you never want to bury your child. You want it to be the reverse where you want your child to bury you when you get to that age,’ KHQ reported.
Gourneau’s prognosis is unclear, although doctors have warned her she may not make it to her 20th birthday in January 2027.
Vaughn, her mother, said: ‘We don’t know exactly how long we have. We only know that our time to make these memories is now. We don’t want to waste a single day.’
Gourneau’s mother said: ‘This wasn’t a decision she made overnight.’
‘As her mom, I asked her every question I could think of. I needed to know this wasn’t just a hard day. I needed to understand her heart.’
‘Through it all, Alexa has never let cancer define who she is. She’s vibrant. She’s a little bit of fire… an old soul with the biggest heart. She loves her family, loves being on the lake, snuggling with her hound dog, watching movies, and finding joy in life’s simple moments,’ Gourneau’s mother wrote on the family’s GoFundMe
Gourneau said the decision was hard to explain to her loved ones, as they have never experienced the illness firsthand
Gourneau’s mother, Holly Vaughn, frequently shares updates on her daughter’s journey on her social media
Holly has made the decision to take time off work to spend as much time as she can with her daughter. The family started a GoFundMe to cover travel, everyday living expenses and make up some of Holly’s lost income.
‘Whether we make it to every place or not, what matters most is simply being together while she’s still feeling well enough to enjoy it.’
Gourneau shared with KHQ: ‘When people think about death, they get scared. But me personally, when I think about death, I know I’m going to heaven. I can imagine myself at a beach where the sand isn’t too hot, but it isn’t too cold, and just being able to walk around without being tired. Just feeling normal. Whatever normal feels like.’
