Berkowitz extensively details his motivations on Arise and Shine, starting with a childhood filled with fights with friends, severe depression, suicidality, and “violent and disruptive” outbursts. His adoptive mother died in 1967, which caused his problems to worsen. Brittanica reports that in Berkowitz’s diary, he admits to setting 1,500 fires across New York during the 1970s.

According to List Verse, Berkowitz later admitted that a demonic black Laborador was not necessarily the sole reason he committed the unthinkable. After 22 years in a maximum-security prison, Berkowitz talked with radio host Larry King from Sullivan Correctional Facility, reports CNN.

When King asked Berkowitz how he felt during his first killing, he said, “I don’t dwell on it at all. It was a horrible thing.” CNN also reports that Berkowitz says he became involved in a satanic group, calling this the worst mistake of his life.

Berkowitz continued on, skirting around the issue of the dog who supposedly commanded him to kill, saying that his mind was controlled by Satan. The Son of Sam said, “​​I had made a pact with the devil, I had allowed this satanic thing to control me, and I felt these paranormal powers.”