A horse rider who died in a devastating competition fall had previously spoken about her fears over the sport, questioning whether it was “all worth it” and admitting she had come close to walking away.
Kerry Donoghue, 42, was one of two women killed in separate eventing accidents within hours of each other on Saturday.
The married mother-of-one, who was from Glasgow, died while competing on her horse Carneyhaugh Rua at the Penrith Horse Trials in Cumbria.
As tributes poured in for the NHS nurse, a deeply poignant podcast interview resurfaced in which she discussed her struggle with confidence and said she had been “on the verge of giving up”.
Speaking on the Equestrian Performance Mindset podcast, released in May, Ms Donoghue explained that she had sought help from a mindset coach at a time when she was questioning whether she wanted to carry on riding at all.
Ms Donoghue said: “I don’t know if I should be speaking to you because I think I might just give up.
“I think I might just call it a day. I’m not really sure, but I don’t know. I’ve just really lost my confidence.”
She went on to describe a distressing experience at a riding camp, where her horse became unsettled before bolting.
Kerry Donoghue, 42, had questioned whether the sport was ‘all worth it’ over safety fears before she died while riding her horse Carneyhaugh Rua at Penrith Horse Trials in Cumbria
Mrs Donoghue and her husband Mathew Donoghue
She added: ‘I just thought, ‘Oh goodness, I don’t really know if this is for me.’
‘I’m just not sure where I’m going next and don’t really know why I was doing this.’
Ms Donoghue, who had competed at various eventing competitions in Scotland and the north of England, described herself as having been ‘a bit on the verge of giving up’ before finding renewed confidence.
And she also told how witnessing a ‘freak accident’ in which another rider was crushed by a horse had forced her to confront the sport’s risks.
She said: ‘It’s one of those moments where the fragility of just being around horses is very much shown a spotlight on.
‘You’re thinking to yourself, ‘Goodness, is this all worth it? Do you really want to do this? Do you really want to give it a go?’.
In another haunting section of the podcast, Ms Donoghue explained that her greatest fear was not death itself but the possibility of suffering life-changing injuries.
She said: ‘I was really afraid of getting hurt, but hurt in a very specific way.
‘People talk about dying and things like that. That wasn’t what I was afraid of.
‘I was afraid of how some people have had to live their lives, and the challenges that come with that.’
She added that she had the ‘utmost respect’ for the patients she had looked after on a NHS spinal unit, whose lives had been ‘turned upside down’.
Despite those fears, Ms Donoghue had continued competing and proudly celebrated completing her first British Eventing Novice competition with Carneyhaugh Rua, whom she nicknamed ‘Roly Poly’.
In a jubilant Instagram post, she wrote following the event in Penrith in April: ‘My First BE Novice!!!! Oh my goodness, I cannot believe we’ve done it!
‘Carneyhaugh Rua, you are the best orange pony ever!’
Ms Donoghue’s social media posts were filled with self-deprecating humour about the highs and lows of amateur eventing.
After an earlier fall into water at Forgandenny Horse Trials in Perth on May 4, she posted a mock TripAdvisor review of the experience, describing it as ‘cold water therapy’.
She joked: ‘Floatation device activated. Slightly inappropriate white clothing now brown. Pride more bruised than my bottom.’
Mrs Donoghue was close to quitting riding before her death
She told the Equestrian Performance Mindset podcast in May: ‘I think I might just call it a day. I’m not really sure, but I don’t know. I’ve just really lost my confidence’
She said: ‘I was really afraid of getting hurt, but hurt in a very specific way’
Hours before Ms Donoghue’s accident, Sophie Fouracre, 34, was fatally injured while riding Rhubarbsfox Britannia at Swalcliffe Park in Oxfordshire.
At both venues, medical teams responded immediately and provided emergency treatment, but neither rider could be saved.
Eventing consists of three phases – dressage, showjumping and cross-country. It is understood that both incidents took place during the cross-country phases of the competitions.
In a statement, British Eventing chief executive Rosie Williams said the community was ‘heartbroken’.
‘On behalf of everyone at British Eventing, I want to extend our deepest condolences to Kerry and Sophie’s families, friends and loved ones at this devastating time.
‘Our thoughts are also with their fellow competitors, organisers, officials, volunteers and everyone who has been affected by these tragic events.
‘We are immensely grateful to the organisers, doctors, paramedics, veterinary teams, officials and emergency services at both events for the professionalism, compassion and care they showed in the most difficult of circumstances.
‘The loss of two members of our eventing family on the same day is almost beyond words, and we know the sadness of these events will be felt profoundly across the sport for some time to come.’
Both horses were uninjured. Reviews of both accidents are now set to be undertaken.
