Madonna has revealed that her daughter Lourdes Leon was “very standoffish” while collaborating with her on a new track, as she spoke publicly about the strain in their relationship.
The 67-year-old Queen of Pop discussed the subject with Graham Norton on his BBC programme Madonna & Graham, saying Lourdes had “held onto a lot of resentment” toward her over the years.
Madonna, who shares Lourdes with former partner Carlos Leon, teamed up with her daughter to write a song for her upcoming album Confessions II.
Although there had been tension between the mother and daughter, Madonna said the process of creating music together ultimately helped “heal” their bond.
During the episode, which aired on Friday night, Madonna explained: “She approached me, she’s been very reticent to work with me. She doesn’t want to be perceived as my daughter, taking advantage of her privilege.”
Norton then asked how the experience felt, wondering whether it was more like working with a professional collaborator or reacting as a proud mother.
“It was kind of neither,” Madonna replied. “She’s been very standoffish and working at her own pace, and I respect that deeply. She’s a great songwriter and has a much better voice than I do.”
Madonna has said Lourdes Leon was “very standoffish” during work on their new song, while opening up about their complicated relationship
The Queen of Pop, 67, opened up to Graham Norton on his BBC show Madonna & Graham and said Lourdes ‘held onto a lot of resentment’ with her over the years
‘But then one day she came to me and said “You know what, I realise I’ve been holding onto something” and maybe it’s a kind of I want to say anger, what’s another word, maybe resentment?
‘At the end of the day, she didn’t ask for this. She had been through her adolescence struggling with those feelings for a long time.
‘So she came to me and said “Let’s write a song together, I think it will be a very healing experience. You say exactly what you want to say and I will say exactly what I want to say”.
‘And I was like “Okay, you’re on, let’s do it, I was so happy”. Her lyrics are beautiful.’
While Madonna and Lourdes are now close and often collaborate together, the pair have touched on their issues in past interviews.
In 2021, Lourdes called her mother a ‘control freak’ and admitted that she paid for her own college tuition and first apartment to escape her.
‘We don’t get any handouts in my family. Obviously, I grew up with extreme privilege. There’s no denying that,’ she explained to Interview magazine.
‘But I think my mom saw all these other kids of famous people, and she was like, “My kids are not going to be like this.”
‘Also, I feel like if your parents pay for things, then it gives them leverage over you. My mom is such a control freak, and she has controlled me my whole life. I needed to be completely independent from her as soon as I graduated high school.’
In a 2019 interview with Vogue, Madonna praised her ‘insanely talented’ eldest child but said that she lacked the same drive that had made her a household name.
Since branching out on her own, Lourdes has found work as a model, a celebrity socialite, and as an indie musician.
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Despite the tension between the mother and daughter duo, Madonna said writing a song together ‘healed’ their relationship (pictured together in 2022)
Lourdes currently works as a model and musician after escaping from her ‘control freak’ mother once she started college, which she claims she paid for herself
She recently appeared in her mother’s Confessions II short film, in addition to co-writing a track from the album.
Madonna also had a tumultuous relationship with her late brother Christopher, who passed away in 2024 at age 63 following a battle with cancer.
‘My brother Christopher is gone. He was the closest human to me for so long,’ she wrote on Instagram following his death.
‘It’s hard to explain our bond. But it grew out of an understanding that we were different and society was going to give us a hard time for not following the status quo.
‘We took each other’s hands and we danced through the madness of our childhood. In fact dance was a kind of superglue that held us together.’
Christopher worked as his sister’s backup dancer, personal dresser and art director until their very public feud erupted in 2000.
He described himself as being the ‘one person’ who could take it when the singer screamed at him backstage and how he was the only one in her circle who knew the truth about her past, which she frequently ‘mythologised’.
Madonna also admitted that her new album, Confessions II, was inspired by ‘family trauma’, including the death of her brother Christopher. (Pictured 1995)
Confessions II is set for release on July 3 through Warner Records
However, the sibling’s relationship began to fracture in the late 1990s – as Christopher began to grow increasingly resentful over having given up his artistic dreams to support his sister’s career.
In 2000, Christopher famously labelled Madonna an ‘evil queen’ in a leaked email, where he lamented ‘giving up [his] f***ing life’ for his sister’s ‘mediocre talent’.
‘I guess I always thought that one day you’d see my worth and behave accordingly… but you never did… a little f***ing respect was all I ever wanted from you and you couldn’t even manage that,’ he raged.
Eight years later, he reportedly earned ‘seven figures’ to team up with author Wendy Leigh to co-write the tell-all book Life with My Sister Madonna.
In the 352-page book, Christopher made a cruel jibe about his sister’s ‘fat’ midriff during The Virgin Tour back in 1985 and said Madonna would become a ‘basket case’ when being interviewed on TV.
