Making the Bezos-Sanchez wedding appear understated is no easy feat, but Taylor Swift may have managed the impossible.
After weeks of speculation, breathless reports and plenty of skepticism, Swift reportedly wed Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden, with 1,000 guests in attendance and a long list of famous faces — some of whom few realized were even part of her inner circle.
Of course, many of them may not be.
As Swift told Graham Norton — who was also said to be among the invitees — during an appearance on his show last October, “I think the only stressful weddings are the ones where you have a small amount [of guests], and people are on the bubble… And you have to evaluate or assess your relationship with them to see if they should be there. I’m not gonna do that. Anyone that I’ve ever talked to [is invited].”
One notable exception, however, appears to have been former close friend Blake Lively, who reportedly did not receive an invitation — a snub that has not gone down well.
Lively is “sad and a little bit p***ed — no, a lot p***ed,” a source told the Daily Mail. “That friendship was over before, but if there was hope, it’s gone. They’ll never be friends again.”
Still, the reported rift hardly comes as a shock. Months earlier, text messages between Swift and Lively emerged as part of Lively’s ill-fated legal battle with Justin Baldoni — and they appeared to signal that Swift had already drawn a firm line under the friendship.
Making the Bezos-Sanchez wedding appear understated is no easy feat, but Taylor Swift may have managed the impossible
After weeks of rumors, reports and disbelief, she did indeed marry Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden – in front of 1,000 guests and hundreds of celebrities we didn’t even know were in her circle
Lively’s declaration feels ad hoc. More of a ‘you can’t fire me because I quit!’ kind of tantrum.
Anyway, apparently Swift prioritized other celebrities who I doubt she’s as close to. Never forget what she reportedly texted to Lively at the height of the feud with Baldoni:
‘I’ll do anything for you!!’
‘I won the lottery. You are the coolest person in the world and you like me!’
Alas, those sentiments are dead.
Instead, middle-aged comedian Adam Sandler officiated this most unholy union-slash-brand merger (just my opinion), in front of a motley crowd including re-friended supermodel Karlie Kloss, Gigi Hadid and Bradley Cooper, Zoe Kravitz, Maren Morris, Ed Sheeran, Camila Cabello, Benson Boone, Dakota Johnson, Ethan Hawke, Hugh Grant, Jimmy Fallon, George Stephanopoulos (why?), Jason Sudeikis, Steven Spielberg, Beyonce, Chris Rock and Tom Brady, who spoke for the rest of us by leaving early.
And we got a little dirt: As the Daily Mail reported, an A-list celebrity requested an invite and was denied.
Lena Dunham scandalized the mammoth arena — dressed by Taylor as something of a Disney princess wedding — by mocking her new husband’s profession.
‘American football,’ Dunham said, ‘is just straight guys reenacting gay porn.’
Classy.
On the nose, though, for the kind of tacky wedding ceremony not seen since Posh married Becks, seated on dual thrones. Since Jeff Bezos annexed Venice for his wedding to Lauren Sanchez, also inviting celebs with whom the couple seemed to have glancing familiarity at best: Sydney Sweeney, anyone?
Taylor Swift walked down the aisle to one of her own songs.
It calls to mind the stubborn rumor about Mariah Carey, who compiled a mix tape of her own songs to play as she gave birth to her twins.
This entire thing was a circus. It’s a mockery of marriage.
Apparently, Taylor Swift’s ego could only be gratified by throwing this garish, vulgar wedding in the world’s most famous arena.
Privacy, we were told. No windows, no paparazzi, no drones.
That’s such garbage. How stupid does she think we are? JFK Jr, once the world’s most photographed man, married Carolyn Bessette on a remote island off the coast of Georgia in total secrecy.
Jay-Z and Beyonce married in their own apartment for the same reason.
If Taylor really wanted privacy, she could have rented out a Hollywood soundstage, an airport hangar, a private island or had this wedding in one of her multiple estates across America.
Instead, she had to hijack MSG, which sits atop Penn Station — one of the country’s busiest transit hubs — and choke off access to Midtown Manhattan, causing chaos for thousands of New Yorkers in a record heatwave during Independence Day weekend.
Not to mention all the small businesses relying on holiday tourism to make money.
One tweet summed it up: ‘She’s a billionaire making people’s lives unnecessarily difficult for her own pleasure — on 4th of July of all weekends.’
Another viral post: ‘On a holiday weekend. Amidst all this worldwide suffering, the ultra-wealthy still have no compunction. Unreal.’
Taylor Swift, in my opinion, is a narcissist. And New York City’s socialist mayor, Zohran Mamdani, allowed for a very famous billionaire to seize a good chunk of Manhattan for her own gratification — thwarting hardworking New Yorkers just trying to get to work or catch a train to the beach, and forcing NYPD cops to work overtime for this childish fantasy wedding.
What kind of socialist is Mamdani, really? Apparently even this mayor, who preaches equality for all and who seeks to elevate the poorest among us, gets starstruck.
What a joke.
‘JUST&T MARRIED,’ read the signage outside the Garden.
We know. All too regrettably, because she made this spectacle all of our business.
The Empire State Building gave Swift ‘her something blue’ by lighting up in said color.
It’s enough. We’ve all had it. Why can’t Taylor Swift take her billions and just disappear for a while? Conduct herself with a degree of class and restraint? Understand that no one can miss her if she won’t go away?
If and when she ever requests privacy again — when she gets pregnant, gives birth, possibly divorces — the answer will be a resounding no.
Not that she’ll want it, really. What will she do to top this — give birth in Grand Central Station?
