Before the Philly Ball-Thief Karen, There Was the Famed Philly Phan Who Barfed on Policeman's Family

While Philadelphia might be recognized as the City of Brotherly Love, it’s also famously the city that once booed Santa Claus. It’s known for its spirited fans who sometimes celebrate championship wins by causing chaos, including damaging police cars. To balance things out, let me just say that the greatest mascot in professional sports is the Phillie Phanatic, with no close competition. We good?

Before incidents like Ball-Swiping, Philly Karen, there was Matthew Clemmens, notorious for an incident at a Philly game. Fifteen years ago, Clemmens was at a Phillies vs. Nationals match at Citizens Bank Park right after turning 21. Though not a Philly native, he hailed from Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just about 30 minutes from the stadium across the Delaware River. I’m guessing they had a designated driver… 

Things got tense in the stands. Police Captain Michael Vangelo was seated with his two daughters, ages 11 and 15, when a rowdy group behind them became too much. Captain Vangelo had the disruptive fans escorted out, but Clemmens remained. Fueled by both alcohol and animosity, Matt decided to target the Vangelo family. He deliberately leaned in, gagged himself, and vomited on the Vangelo girls. 

“There’s absolutely no mistaking that he did it intentionally,” Vangelo recounted. “It was the most disgusting thing that ever happened in my life. I remember it like it was yesterday.” 

Vangelo said Matt got upset after his friends were thrown out and thought Vangelo was responsible. 

“I hear him say on the cell phone, ‘I have to do what I gotta do.’ I turn around and he has two fingers down his throat to intentionally vomit. I told my kids to run, lifted my hands to deflect the vomit.” 

Thankfully, the action was too outrageous even for Philly fans. They restrained Matt until the police arrived, and his face met some fists in the process. Matt’s mugshot, displaying a bruised eye, quickly became notorious. This round-faced, blonde-haired guy had clearly been roughened up, earning the nickname “Pukemon.” 

Websites created “player” cards with his mugshot on them. You can find his mugshot here.  

Matt pled guilty to assault. In exchange the charges of corruption of a minor and reckless endangerment were dropped. He could have served five years in the big house.

A Family Court judge sentenced Matthew Clemmens to 30 to 90 days in jail, two years of probation and 50 hours of community service at Citizens Bank Park.

He served a month in a local slammer, and said of the experience that his cellmates were “nice.”

Matt Clemmens had burnished his Jersey cred with his conviction. I imagined at the time that Clemmens probably thought his disgusting vomit comet and later conviction was worth it. His relatives (who weren’t there) claimed that he was “set up” and the cops had beaten poor Matt. He was the victim. I could imagine Matt and his beer-buds sitting around a BBQ at Cherry Hill, and one of his buds asks him to retell the story of his infamy. Matt would take a swig from his Pabst Blue Ribbon, and retell his greatest moment, something like this: 

Unfortunately, Matt wasn’t around for the five-year reunion with his beer buds. Clemmens got a blood infection and died at the age of 25.  

Matt Clemmens wasn’t around for the explosion of social media and its shame-machine. Once someone pulls what Philly Karen did, it will go viral and live forever.  She won’t be charged with a crime. But she will be charged with 1st degree Karenism, and will live in infamy.  You have to love “the internets”

I believe that she will not be able to avoid the “look.” Every restaurant, every story, everywhere she goes, she will wonder who will recognize her, point at her, and say: 

Hey? You’re that jerk Karen… the Ball Thief – right? That’s you! 

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