A quote I often reflect on comes from the Victorian-era author, George Eliot: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” As long as we are alive, we have the opportunity to create ambitions, strive for them, and achieve them. My 94-year-old friend, John, exemplifies this by undertaking the project of installing solar panels in his home on his own. Whether it’s taking up a new language or learning to play the piano (which is my goal for retirement), these accomplishments can greatly enhance our lives. The human capacity for growth and transformation is a remarkable gift, and even better when paired with a supportive family that encourages and cherishes our progress.
Family values is the subject of this week’s Feel-Good Friday.
Jon and his wife are blessed with four daughters and are now grandparents. With three of their daughters married and living independently, Jon decided to dedicate his later years to pursuing a master’s degree at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon. As reported by PEOPLE, Jon had quietly been working toward this degree for some time and was on track to receive his Master’s in Biblical Leadership in June:
With over three decades in ministry, Jon viewed this as an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the issues and dialogues affecting the younger generation. “There are challenges I haven’t faced, and realizing this, I knew I needed more tools to assist others effectively,” he states.
But the family all lived in Olympia, WA, and the ceremony was in Portland, around two-and-a-half hours away, so Jon decided he didn’t want to inconvenience them with a long drive. His daughter Ashtyn (and who gave him his first grandbaby), got suspicious when she didn’t hear about when the ceremony would be.
Ashtyn says she didn’t even know the ceremony was happening at first. “He was kind of quiet about the whole thing,” she says.
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But the decision to make the trip wasn’t even a question.
“He’s been to all of our graduations, every big thing in our lives,” Ashtyn says. “Of course we were going to be there for his.”
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He wasn’t trying to downplay the importance of the day. In his mind, he was just being practical. “They’ve got kids, jobs, a million things going on,” he says. “I never want to put any extra stress on them. I just wanted to be considerate.”
How sweet is that? A gracious father who considers his children, and children who consider their parents. There’s a biblical concept somewhere in there. Sadly, I know many parents of grown children who lament the fact that their offspring do not make time for them or feel the need to include them in their lives, whether they be small moments, or major milestones. Not so with Jon’s family. It’s a beautiful testament that Jon’s girls considered it a priority to honor their father by showing up, even if it meant driving several hours. However, as Jon tells it, “showing up” is a huge part of the family’s values.
It’s not just about being there for the big events, he adds. “It’s a way of life — we try to nurture those relationships and stay present in each other’s lives.”
That’s something Ashtyn has always noticed about her dad. “He’s never quiet about our accomplishments — he hypes us up, he posts about it, he brags on us,” she says. “But when it comes to his own, he downplays everything.”
That humility, she says, is part of what made the TikTok resonate so deeply. “People were like, I wish my dad was like this,” she says. “And it made me realize how lucky I am.”
Daughter Ashtyn decided to make a quickie TikTok of Jon walking in his commencement, and she caught his complete surprise to see his family in the audience.
WATCH:
That quiet act of thoughtfulness is exactly why Ashtyn felt compelled to film the moment. Her TikTok, posted with the caption “no because why is he so precious in his cap & gown,” went viral overnight.
Ashtyn says watching her dad graduate was a perspective shift. “You grow up thinking your parents have mastered everything,” she says. “But then you see your dad doing something for the first time, too, and it’s really inspiring.”
She calls it a “sweet moment” seeing him walk across the stage surrounded by classmates decades younger than him. “He just looked so proud and humble,” she says. “It was honestly adorable.”
Even though Jon was, at first, embarrassed by the video’s response, he came to realize that it gave people something to strive for, and even hope.
“If a six-second video helps someone feel seen or inspired, then maybe it’s not so silly after all,” he says.
May we all continue to grow, inspire, and passionately pursue the life we’ve been given and passionately pursue one another. Another favorite saying I hold to: “Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”
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