Have you ever used flirting as a tactic to make your partner jealous? Do you find yourself envious of a friend’s lifestyle? Or perhaps you’ve wondered if others are envious of you? Could it be possible to channel these emotions positively? Explore these questions in the episode “Jealousy” on SBS or stream it anytime on SBS On Demand.

Watch the episode here

There are times I sense others are envious of my life—and I can understand their feelings.

I frequently rub shoulders with influential figures, have resided in Paris, and often find myself aboard luxurious yachts in Monaco, representing some of the world’s top champagne brands.

My lifestyle revolves around opulence, and quite literally, my profession involves indulging in fine beverages.

Originally, I embarked on a career in finance and business. However, in my late twenties, an article about champagne caught my eye, prompting me to make a bold career shift.

I started my career in finance and business, but after reading an article in my late 20s about champagne, I decided to ‘start over’.

I then read every book there was about the sparkling wine, and when I ran out of books, I wrote a letter to the author of my favourite.

He replied: “Get on a plane, and I’ll teach you everything I know.”

So, I bought a one-way ticket to France, and learned with him across Paris, Champagne and the French Riviera.

That was 21 years ago, and now I’m based in Melbourne, where I own two businesses importing champagne to Australia and running tours in the Champagne region.

‘I didn’t think I would like you’

I receive mixed responses from the people I encounter at the champagne masterclasses or dinners I run.

There will always be women who say to me: “Oh my God, I would love to be you; I want your life.”

Others will tell me I’m a genius because I “get to drink champagne from 9am to 9pm”.

But perhaps the most common thing I hear from new people, particularly women, is: “I didn’t think I’d like you, but you’re actually a nice person.”

I can’t say whether these comments are inspired by jealousy or envy, but either way, they bring up the issue of perception.

I appeared in the fifth season of Real Housewives of Melbourne, a show that arguably invites people to live vicariously through the successful and glamorous lives of others.

With any reality show, you’re sometimes going to come across less than peachy, and I also think the perception of my life being all glitz and glam was elevated.

Sure, I might be dolled up a lot of the time on social media, for work events and when I was on the show. But if you knew me, you’d know I’m also doing the grunt work in the warehouse in my jeans, t-shirt and work boots.

And truly, it’s taken so much time and effort to get to where I am.

The social media jealousy trap

I believe the glimpses we get of other people’s lives on television or Instagram can foster envy and jealousy — whether it’s about career, lifestyle or love.

For example, I had a friend of mine message me recently saying: “Oh my God, I’ve seen my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend on Instagram, and she’s skinnier than me”.

And I was like: “What the f**k? Why would you actually judge yourself based on another woman?”

I often receive hate comments on my social media accounts, and I can only assume the people writing them are acting out of jealousy.

I don’t have a personal social media account, and if I didn’t have businesses to run, I wouldn’t have it at all.

Jealousy mostly comes down to perception, and social media doesn’t help.

‘Jealousy is not about the other person’

Jealousy is not about the other person; it’s about you and how you perceive someone in relation to yourself.

Some people might think my life seems perfect, but it’s not — no one’s is. But it is colourful and unusual, so I can understand how some people might be envious.

So, when friends ask me if I’m offended when strangers tell me they didn’t think they’d like me at first, I say no.

As a woman in my industry, I’ve learned to let my guard down more quickly and let people in faster — so their initial perception doesn’t continue.

I’m not offended because they’ve gotten to know me, and their opinion has changed.

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