For many Americans, an income approaching $1 million would be transformative.
However, in New York City, where living expenses are twice the national average, a couple earning $920,000 annually feels it’s insufficient to begin raising a family.
The couple, aged 37 and 28, shared their predicament in a Reddit post titled “How do HENRYs afford to start a family in NYC?” They used the acronym HENRY, which stands for ‘High Earners, Not Rich Yet.’
Residing in Manhattan, they describe themselves as ‘DINKs’—dual income, no kids—and reported earning approximately $920,000 in 2025. The husband believes a more stable income is around $700,000 due to the unpredictable nature of tech salaries and potential layoffs.
He works as a senior data scientist in a major tech company, bringing home $425,000, while his wife is a senior associate at an investment bank, earning roughly $340,000. They also received additional income from stocks and a small side business, which added around $13,000.
Despite their substantial earnings, the husband maintains that starting a family in New York presents significant financial challenges.
The post quickly went viral – and many readers were unsympathetic.
‘You are so out of touch with reality. It’s not even worth addressing,’ one wrote, while others criticized what they described as excessive spending.
In New York City – where living costs are more than double the national average – one young couple say even a near seven-figure income does not feel sufficient (stock image)
Some, however, were more encouraging, pointing out that many families raise children in the city without comparable salaries.
One user responded: ‘You won’t want to hear this, but it just works out. The dollars just get reallocated.
‘You’ll travel less, eat out less and generally spend less in the beginning, and redirect that money to a nanny. Don’t feel pressure to buy in NYC before your kids are here – it changes how you feel about everything.’
In 2025, the couple spent around $285,000.
Their essential costs like rent, food, electricity and transport totaled $113,000.
The biggest expense is rent at $97,000 a year – roughly $8,200 a month – for a 1,400-square-foot, two-bedroom condo within a 15-minute walk of both their offices. Groceries cost $7,000, bills $6,000 and transport $2,000.
But it was their non-essential spending that raised eyebrows.
They spent $66,000 on travel, $42,000 on shopping, $32,000 dining out, $20,000 on entertainment and $12,000 on personal care – a combined $173,000 on non-essential expenses. Travel was supplemented by 2.5 million reward points.
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Writing on Reddit in a post titled ‘How do HENRYs afford to start a family in NYC?’, the 37-year-old husband and his 28-year-old wife describe themselves as a ‘DINK’ (dual income, no kids)
Even so, they saved aggressively, contributing approximately $271,000 across retirement and brokerage accounts – a savings rate of about 49 per cent. By the end of 2025, their net worth stood at $2.15 million, almost entirely invested in equities and with no debt.
The problem, the poster says, is that their current lifestyle does not translate easily into family life. Their apartment already feels cramped for two people and sits in a poor school district.
With both partners working demanding jobs, they say a nanny would be essential, and private school – costing an estimated $60,000 to $70,000 per child per year – may be unavoidable.
Buying in a top Manhattan school zone could mean a $3 million to $4 million property and housing costs of around $20,000 a month.
Another option they floated was staying in Manhattan but accepting a weaker public school district and paying for private education instead.
Under that scenario, they would aim to buy a roughly $2.5 million apartment within a 15 to 20 minute walk of work – preserving their short commutes while upgrading to a three- or four-bedroom home suitable for a family.
But they worry there are hidden downsides. If the surrounding public schools are poorly rated, they fear the apartment may not rise in value as strongly over time. And private school tuition in Manhattan can run between $60,000 and $70,000 per child, per year.
They also expressed concern about the social pressure that comes with elite schools, writing that on their current income they might feel like ‘the poorest parents at the school.’
New York City’s high living costs are driven largely by housing, goods and services
They have also considered leaving Manhattan.
One option would be moving to Queens or Brooklyn, where they say they could potentially buy a 2,000 sq ft apartment in a stronger elementary school district for between $2.5 million and $3 million.
That is slightly cheaper than comparable property in prime Manhattan neighborhoods – but it comes with trade-offs.
The commute would stretch closer to an hour each way, which the couple say is ‘not really acceptable’ five days a week. Leaving Manhattan would also likely mean buying a car, adding further costs.
After sifting through all of the responses, the husband admitted the discussion had prompted deeper self-examination.
He concluded that he may need to ‘act as though I can’t afford my current lifestyle,’ reconsidering whether spending on experiences or possessions is as valuable as building flexibility, reducing risk and ultimately buying back time – especially if they hope to raise a family in Manhattan.
He concluded: ‘Again, thanks for your great response. Impressively, you’ve managed to point out the core issues here without discussing school districts or kids at all.
‘You’ve given me a lot to think about and this is a better wakeup call for me than even the exorbitant cost of raising kids in New York City.’
