Christine Dawood, who tragically lost her husband and son in the Titan Submersible catastrophe three years ago, vividly recalls receiving their remains nine months after the incident. The remains were returned to her in containers reminiscent of “shoeboxes.”

“It took nine months for us to receive their remains,” Dawood shared with the Guardian in a report released on Saturday. “When I refer to remains, it’s the fragmented material that was left behind. They arrived in two small boxes, almost like shoeboxes.”

She explained that there was minimal recovery possible of Shahzada Dawood, aged 48, and their son Suleman, aged 19, both from London, following the implosion.

“There was a large collection of mixed DNA that couldn’t be separated,” she noted. “They offered if I wanted some of that, but I declined, requesting only what was confirmed to be Suleman and Shahzada.”

The tragic incident claimed the lives of Shahzada and Suleman alongside OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush, entrepreneur Hamish Harding, and Titanic historian Paul-Henri Nargeolet when their submersible imploded while descending to explore the Titanic wreck in the North Atlantic Ocean on June 18, 2023.

Suleman Dawood, left, and his father Shahzada Dawood. (Engro Corporation)

Dawood told the Guardian she remembers the last time she saw her husband and son that morning they got in the submersible as she battled seasickness aboard the ship that took them out to where they descended.

“Suleman had his Rubik’s Cube, because he was planning to get the record for solving it at the deepest depth ever,” she remembered. “And we were giggling, because Shahzada is clumsy and when he was going down the stairs he was wobbling a bit. I waved. And that was it. They got into a dinghy and sped off. It went very fast, the goodbye.”

A few hours later in the ship’s dining room, Dawood heard someone say: “They’ve lost communications.”

When they realized she overheard, the person added: “’Don’t worry, it’s not unusual.’ In that moment, what am I supposed to do? I felt trapped on that ship and I had no choice but to trust what they told me.”

She said she tried to keep her anxiety at bay, telling herself, “they were stuck” in the submersible. 

A boat with OceanGate branding is docked in the boatyard near the company headquarters at the Port of Everett complex in Everett, Wash., on June 22, 2023. (Matt Mills McKnight/Reuters)

“But I was worried. Suleman is not … well, both my men, they’re not very good at being in the dark, and I knew it would be a very different darkness down there. Nothing. You literally can’t see a thing,” she said.

She said everyone on the ship was in complete denial.

“The crew were [acting] like nothing was happening,” she said, saying the crew suggested it would just take time for the crew to be found unharmed.

“It did cross my mind that OceanGate had ulterior motivations about what they told us,” she added. “They were just trying to avoid the truth. But I would have deteriorated a lot quicker without hope.”

As they waited, she said the crew scheduled jamming sessions and movies to pass the time.

Former OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush stands near the Titan submersible. (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)

“Ultimately, I think they wanted to distract people, keep everyone occupied,” she said. “They wanted everyone onside, not to feed anything to the press. But jamming sessions? Am I really going to sit there and sing Kumbaya? I did try to give a movie a go, but when I got there it felt like an act of betrayal. Watching ‘Wayne’s World’ while they are trapped in the dark did not sit well with me.”

After an extensive search, the remains of the submersible were found on the ocean floor.

The U.S. Coast Guard called it a “catastrophic implosion.”

“My first thought was, thank God,” Dawood said. “When they said catastrophic, I knew Shahzada and Suleman didn’t even know about it. One moment they were there and the next they weren’t. Knowing they didn’t suffer has been so important. They’re gone, but the way they went does somehow make it easier.”

Once she knew they were gone, Dawood said she had to deal with the practical details.

“What was I going to do with their stuff?” she said. “Their bags? Shahzada’s clothes and things were in my cabin, so I packed his bags. But I didn’t pack Suleman’s. I couldn’t. Someone else did that.”

Commander First Coast Guard District in Boston, Rear Adm. John Mauger, speaks during a news conference about debris found on the ocean floor indicating a catastrophic loss of pressure in the missing submersible near the Titanic wreck, June 22, 2023. (Fatih Aktas/Anadolu Agency)

Last year, the Coast Guard released a report, calling the implosion a “preventable tragedy,” blaming OceanGate’s culture of avoiding regulating and “negligence” on safety.

“From the beginning, I had a lot of reasons to hate Stockton, but does that really help me?” Dawood said. “He died with them. If I’m angry with him, I’m giving him power, and I refuse to do that. I’m sure people will say I’m naive, but if I start to analyse every single thing, where does that lead me? So, I choose my own … not happiness but … I choose me, every day. If I don’t, I wouldn’t be here. I would have killed myself, for sure.”

She added that she tries to give her grief “attention.”

“So I go into Suleman’s room. Sometimes I find the cat sleeping on his pillow and I sit on the bed and let the grief come,” she admitted. “And after a while I can put the grief away until the next time it gets too much. I’ve worked a lot on my grief for Suleman, but I’m only now starting to grieve for my husband. Publicly they are always put together, but they are two different relationships. Two very different pains.”

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