Celebrity MasterChef somehow managed to make Domino’s look like a culinary benchmark — while also leaving viewers just a little anxious about the state of the NHS.
Heat Two opened with Gregg Wallace and John Torode asking this week’s five celebrities to make pizzas: Alex George, the A&E doctor best known from Love Island 2018; Jenny Ryan, The Vixen from The Chase; Dom Parker, Gogglebox’s resident posh commentator; stand-up comic Josie Long; and Mim Shaikh, the BBC Radio 1Xtra presenter who exited after the judges, remarkably, chose to save the famous face from Love Island.
Alex George came across as perfectly pleasant, just as he had in the villa, but he did not always project the sort of unshakeable professional assurance you might hope for from an A&E doctor.
Novice: Too much tomato puree and cheddar cheese instead of mozzarella… Love Island’s doctor Alex George appeared to be encountering pizza-making for the first time on Celebrity MasterChef
Still, even that was nothing beside his most troubling habit during Love Island the previous summer: his extraordinary ability to get sunburned. For weeks, his face and shoulders looked so scorched they were almost uncomfortable to watch, as if he had been quietly radiating heat from the screen.
If you arrived in A&E on a Friday night in urgent need of treatment, would you feel entirely reassured by a doctor who appeared unable to master a bottle of Factor 50?
In fairness, Alex handled the competition with good humour and stayed impressively composed, even when faced with the heat and pace of the kitchen at London’s Baptiste Grill.
And, unlike many Celebrity MasterChef contestants, he at least resisted the temptation to claim that cooking under studio lights was somehow more stressful than his actual day job.
On the down side, the pizza he made was… weird.
Problems: To be fair at least Alex took the show in his stride, but the pizza he made was… weird
It seemed like a relatively straightforward challenge but the way Gregg Wallace and John Torode acted, you’d think they had invented pizza, or were at least connoisseurs.
‘A pizza is an absolutely adored meal isn’t it?!’ bellowed Gregg at the five bewildered chefs. ‘It’s pretty much universal.’
Yes we know.
‘We want something that’s not sloppy in the middle,’ explained Torode. ‘With toppings that go together.’
I’m pretty sure literally everyone watching at home knew what a pizza should look like, and what you could – or couldn’t – put on them.
Nonetheless, Torode raved about Mim’s as if it were haute cuisine.
Relaxed: To be fair at least Alex took the show in his stride, remaining calm even working in the kitchen of London’s Baptiste Grill
Trust: A&E doctor Alex George seemed like a nice bloke (as he did on Love Island) but didn’t always inspire complete confidence when you thought of him professionally (ditto)
‘The cheese across the top is quite salty and sharp!’ he pontificated, which was funny because when he asked what type of cheese had chosen, Shaikh didn’t know.
Gregg Wallace went even further.
‘I LIKE the richness of the tomato puree!’ he cried, even though it was straight out of a tube.
As for Dr. Alex George’s creation, you had to wonder if he’d seen many pizzas before.
The size and depth of his dough was more like a Frisbee than even the cheapest abomination from a supermarket freezer.
Alex then, inexplicably, covered this with far too much passata but hardly anything else.
The worst: Alex’s effort was definitely better than Josie Long’s effort, a ragged mess that resembled something she’d fished out of the bin
His topping consisted of only two or three mushrooms and a few weedy slithers of pepperoni that looked decidedly lonely stuck in the red sea of tomato, which was clearly dry and over-cooked.
Worst of all, when it came to the type of cheese for his topping, Alex had selected cheddar, which had a crumbly quality that only made it even dryer.
The fact Alex didn’t know/work out that pizzas have mozzarella seemed bizarre and possibly didn’t speak volumes for his decision-making.
Perhaps he liked cheddar cheese and passata on his pizza, but it didn’t look very appetising. It was definitely better than Josie Long’s effort, a ragged mess that resembled something she’d fished out of the bin.
‘I like your ingredients !’ roared Wallace, referring to Alex’s completely standard selection of mushroom, pepperoni, and (cheddar) cheese.
Loser: ‘I like your ingredients !’ roared Wallace, referring to Alex’s completely standard selection of mushroom, pepperoni, and (cheddar) cheese, as Josie Long’s (pictured) effort flopped
On the down side, the judges reiterated his dough and puree were terrible.
‘I think mixed reviews, wasn’t it?’ suggested Alex with optimism that was admirable but entirely unfounded.
He repeated this trick at the end of the final round too – when it transpired that the middle of his coq au vin wasn’t.
‘It’s just annoying,’ sighed Alex. ‘Because otherwise it would have been a good dish.’
True but Gregg Wallace pointed out one significant minor detail: he couldn’t actually judge the chicken properly – because it wasn’t really safe to eat.
You‘d think that, as a doctor, Alex would have made that his priority.
Reaching: ‘I think mixed reviews, wasn’t it?’ suggested Alex with optimism that was admirable but entirely unfounded
