Prince Harry should stop portraying himself as a victim, as the public is growing weary of hearing about “how awful his life is,” a long-serving aide to Queen Elizabeth II has advised.
Ailsa Anderson, who served as the Queen’s press secretary for 12 years and worked closely with Harry before his marriage to Meghan Markle, shared her insights.
In a new documentary discussing Harry’s “terrible” 2025, Ms. Anderson described him as a “very warm, engaging and kind person” who has lost his direction and needs to abandon his victim mentality.
Addressing the Duke of Sussex, she advised: “Stop being the victim and start being the hero of the story. Start writing your own script. People are growing tired of Prince Harry’s perception that the world is against him and how terrible his life is.”
Ailsa, who was part of the Queen’s team from 2001 to 2013, remarked that the exiled prince is “too impulsive” and has unwisely disclosed private family matters, including King Charles’ health.
She said: ‘I think trust is paramount in every walk of life, if you can’t trust your family, who can you trust?’.
Charles and William will fear that if they were to welcome Harry back, ‘private information would then be leaked’, she said.
The Channel 5 documentary ‘Prince Harry: My Terrible Year’ aired on Saturday night, with experts suggesting that while Harry desires reconciliation with his family, his “ego” is hindering the process.
Prince Harry, right, and wife Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex. A senior aide to the late Queen Elizabeth II says Harry must shed the idea he is a victim
Ailsa Anderson served as the Queen’s press secretary for 12 years
Psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell said: ‘Reconciliation is absolutely possible with moments of accountability and responsibility on both sides.
She said in a message for Harry: ‘Stick a pin in your ego for a moment and focus not on being right, but being in a relationship. There needs to be forgiveness on both sides.’
It came after The Mail on Sunday revealed that Prince Harry is planning to outflank the boardroom rival who accused him of bullying by launching a new African children’s charity.
Last week, a Charity Commission probe found ‘no evidence’ to support Sentebale chairman Dr Sophie Chandauka’s allegations of bullying, harassment, misogyny and misogynoir – discrimination against black women.
But historian Tessa Dunlop said that Sentebale scandal had been very damaging to Harry.
‘I’m sure they (Sussexes) are not always easy to work with. She [Dr Sophie Chandauka] weaponised Prince Harry’s own words used against him, suggesting Harry has been a malevolent influence on the direction of the charity’
She added: ‘We’re also still talking and writing about Harry, I think there is one thing worse than writing and talking about him, and that’s us going silent. Maybe he can find a new mission.’
The Duke of Sussex last week walked away from Sentebale following a damning report into an explosive race row.
But sources say he is determined to continue the work of the charity, which he co-founded with Prince Seeiso of Lesotho in 2006 in honour of their mothers.
‘The Duke is anxious that the fight against poverty and Aids in Lesotho and Botswana carries on,’ said an insider.
‘He and Prince Seeiso are keen to work together on a new venture. They are talking about setting up a new charity or clubbing together to support other existing charities doing similar work in the region.’
The MoS has learned that Harry has now upped the ante by issuing a formal complaint about Dr Chandauka’s conduct, accusing her of ‘recycling’ unfounded claims.
A letter to the commission from his office notes that since the investigation, Dr Chandauka had revisited ‘serious, highly-charged and damaging allegations’.
Prince Harry is planning to outflank the boardroom rival who accused him of bullying by launching a new African children’s charity, The Mail on Sunday can reveal. Pictured: Harry on a visit to Lesotho with Sentebale in 2014
A letter to the Charity Commission from Prince Harry’s office notes that since the investigation, Dr Chandauka (pictured) had revisited ‘serious, highly-charged and damaging allegations’
Dr Chandauka said that because a clip of the awkward interaction at the polo match went viral, Harry invited her to make a public statement in support of his wife – but she refused
It said the claims ‘directly impact’ his other charity work, adding: ‘Ms Chandauka continues to publicly recycle these claims, this time beneath the guise of clarification, all while leveraging the charity’s public platform to do so.
‘This conduct appears to directly contravene your warning about the risks of airing internal disputes in the media and seems to constitute an ongoing misuse of charitable resources for the pursuit of personal vindication.’
Despite rejecting the bullying claims, the Charity Commission found problems in Sentebale’s governance and rebuked ‘all parties’ for allowing the dispute to play out in public.
However it said Dr Chandauka and the board could remain in place – a decision that left the Duke devastated and complaining of a ‘hostile takeover’.
This newspaper can now reveal startling new details of the background to Dr Chandauka’s 2023 appointment.
In an email to fellow board members, she requested $3,000 (£2,200) a day for her time, claiming this represented ‘a very significant compromise/pay cut’ as she typically charged £2,500 for 60-minute speaking engagements.
A source said it raised eyebrows among trustees and was in ‘stark contrast to the selfless, pro bono spirit in which most serve’.
In the event, the Zimbabwean-born lawyer eventually agreed to work pro bono.
A statement in March said the relationship with Dr Chandauka was ‘broken’, ‘beyond repair’ and ‘untenable’. Pictured: The pair at a charity event in South Africa last October
Other emails show she was originally turned down for the role of chairman, but launched ‘an all-out pressure campaign’ for a formal explanation for her rejection.
She eventually got the job, with Harry at the time hailing her appointment.
The first hint of trouble came in April 2024, when the Duchess of Sussex ushered the charity boss to the centre of a stage at a polo match.
Dr Chandauka said that because a clip of the awkward interaction went viral, Harry invited her to make a public statement in support of his wife.
She refused, saying the charity ‘cannot be an extension of the Sussexes’.
But it was a disagreement over fundraising and a £400,000 bill for consultancy work that caused the relationship to sour further.
In March, Harry and Prince Seeiso, plus some trustees, resigned. A statement said the relationship with Dr Chandauka was ‘broken’, ‘beyond repair’ and ‘untenable’.
On Saturday, it was reported the Lesotho children’s centre run by Sentebale has been ‘effectively mothballed’ amid a funding crisis – until recently, some 700 children with HIV attended its camps.
In a statement after the commission’s report, Sentebale said: ‘The Charity Commission is explicitly clear… that it is not the Commission’s responsibility to adjudicate or mediate internal disputes.
‘The Commission has not investigated any individual allegations and therefore has not made any findings in relation to individuals, including Prince Harry.’
The former trustees also issued a statement rebuking the commission for choosing to ‘ignore key concerns’ over the ‘leadership and oversight’ of Sentebale’s chairman.
Dr Chandauka was approached for comment.
